Inca Llamaism (Classic)
Inca Llamaism is an old religion that split off from canada spreading to Antofagasta, it was opprest when the inca empire fell. on the 29 of January 2018 when Micheal Jackson, (now saint Micheal Jackson) nailed the rules of LInca lamaism to the door of the Antofagasta city building door. HolyDalaiLlama strating the Llmaist revoltion making it the Antofagastan state religion again. is the current pope of the religion.
The Inca Llamaist bible by the true llama god
The long llama bible: The words of god: I, the holy Llama, created this world. I created everything, the rivers, the sea’s, the lands, the islands, the trees, the plants, the animals, and most important, the humans. I did all of this a long time ago before I created the humans. First were the dinosaurs but I didn’t like them so I towed a comet on them. It killed them. But you know how things go, when you become older you become weaker and finally you die. And I’m now on that point so I write you this: travel south all the way south until you feel you find a place that says, “this is it”. And then you stay. When you completed your live sinless you’ll go to the heavens and you will be a llama. When you complete your live with a 1-6 sins you go to heaven and you will be a alpaca. When you complete live with 7-12 sins you go to heaven and you’ll be a dromedaries or a camel. When you complete live with 13-30 sins you go to heaven and you will be a sheep. When you kill or hurt a llama, alpaca or a human (except in war) or 31+ sins you go to hell. And that were the words god wrote to the people in a small village near the lake Ockmanitshu (modern day Nunavut, Canada). They wrote it and first they thought it was fake, but deep in their hearts they knew it was true and so started the travel south. Every head of the group keeps a book in which they told their story’s. here is the one of Gryp I: today our journey started, it was hard but we came a hole and. There are a lot weak people who slow us down, one of those people died on the end of the day. We buried him under a nice tree. Week 61: we have travelled a lot and now we are by a very big lake or sea (Hudson bay). The weird thing is that the water is high and then it becomes smaller and then bigger the hole day. It’s very weird. Week 189: were now 1326 days gone and 84 of the 319 died. 3 has been born. Were now with 238 and today we stranded by a lot of great mountains (the Rocky-Mountains) we have never seen something like this before. Week 221: hello I’m Gryp II the son of Gryp I today we were by some hot pools (Yellowstone) and we wanted to rest but when Gryp I and some others were in it there was an loud detonation and a lot of water and the water came up and the people flew in the air and the came down and were dead. There was a lot of panic and screaming. I saw people run who we have never seen again. They properly run into the woods and never found us again (now the native Canadians who convinced the Europeans to believe in llamaism). They chose me to lead. Week 347: We are very slow at this moment because of the hot weather and the dry dessert. Today we met some people we with feathers and paint on their head who called themselves Paiute. They helped us across a great orange canyon (grand canyon) they were very kind and fierce fighters. Week 620: Today we are stuck. We walked ourselves into problem. We are on a great peninsula the locals call Rubnatrula (California). The locals say they will bring is to the other side. Week 620: We are on the other side of the peninsula we can continue our journey to the holy land. Week 1033: my name is Fuchu, Gryp II died this morning. I’m his brother and I rule in his place. Week 1056: today we met some local people near a great lake (lake Texcoco) on a wedding day with 2 local clans ending up fighting. I hope it will have a good ending. Week 2469: today we entered a area with lines on the ground and the people who made it were very happy to show it all to us. Week 2604: I think we are at the place the prophecy told us to go. There are people here who speak the same Language somehow and they also call themselves Inca. The city is called Cusco. Cusco is a very new city and the people here are also very new, the leader here is called Manco Cápac he is the first Inca leader. His son (Sinchi Roca) and my daughter (Mama Cura) will marry soon and their children will rule. We convinced all Inca’s here of llamaism. There are a lot of llama’s here and they are very useful. 217 years later: a great man is born, his name is Pachakutiq Inka Yupanki or just Pachacuti. He will rise to power 20 years later and he will start the golden age for the Inca’s. He wont conquer much land compared to what it will be, but it will be the start of the rise of an empire. Pachacuti was the great leader who founded the great city of Machu-Pichu (which he declared capitol) and Antofagasta. The story goes that he looked into a flame and saw a vision: there must be a great statue of a llama in Machu-Pichu. And as he commanded it happened, but unfortunately he could never see it finished. He died at the age of 53 and after his dead he was grounded the title of Pachacuti the great. His son Túpac Inca Yupanqui conquered a lot of land north and commanded the construction of a great harbour and lighthouse in the city of Antofagasta. Under his reign the llama statue in the capitol Machu-Pichu was finished and declared sacred by pope Muacpla Yupanqui. Next came his son, Huayna Capac a man who loved land, especially in the south, he was the leader who conquered the most. but when he died the troubles came. His son Huáscar came to power but his jealous brother Atahualpa wanted the crown and a civil war emerged. It was bloody and thousands died, but in the end Atahualpa won. But when he won the troubles weren’t over. First there was a epidemy and later foreigners from the kingdom of Spain came down to conquer the riches of the Inca’s. Atahualpa was captured and his brother and best advisors flee on a boat on the oceans. Atahualpa was later killed and the Inca empire fell into a ruin. But that wasn’t the end of the problems raiders of all over the continent and beyond came to raid the gold of the Inca’s and later the great volcano near Antofagasta erupted. It destroyed a lot and caused a lot of damage and death but in the end it made the ground fertile so more people came. While this happened the brother of Atahualpa (Túpac Hualpa) and his advisors stranded on a strand in Fouthland (south Africa) there were a lot of gold and other riches so the stranded Inca’s took their chance and raided it all. But when they were almost finished the hunting group p Fourthlanders returned and attacked the Inca’s but the Inca’s flee just on time to pretend fighting. This event started the Inca-Fouthland war. They sailed back to Antofagasta and when they arrived the rest was back and a lot have happened, Llamaism was forbidden, Machu-Pichu was disbanded, there were a lot of foreigners even a group of Mongols who lost their home and now live I the Andes and a lot more. When they were back for a month the troubles came back. A group of Russians heard of the llama’s and wanted them too, but the Inca’s (who weren’t allowed to call themselves Inca’s anymore but only Spanish slaves) didn’t want to sell them. This started the Llama war. The Spanish agreed and helped the Inca’s but it wasn’t enough. The Russians were powerful and demanded it and threatened the Inca’s. finally the Russians won and they got the llama’s for a good price. But when they were gone the Fouthlanders found the Inca’s and raided and destroyed the city. There were heavy battles with a lot of casualties but in the end the Inca’s won. The Inca’s would never recovered since. The Llamaism got underground with a few followers and a pope. Later when the pope died the pope generation was ended until 29-01-2018 when a stranger nailed the Inca rules on the door of the old Inca church in Antofagasta. Later people were going to suggest it was Michael Jackson who did it but its still not proven today. Pope Dalai Llama started immediately with building things, he commanded to build a Inca temple no one has ever seen. It would become a world wonder. He also wanted to build the llama el rendentor in Machu-Picchu.
Rules of Inca Llamaism
- Do not steal
- Do not kill
- Do not torture
- Do not destroy what now belongs to you
- Do not kill llamas
- Do not hurt llamas
- Only if you walk beneath the holy llama, you will go to llama heaven and you will be a llama
- Every 12:00 you should pray towards the holy llama statue
- Llava is evil
- Poisones potatoes are unlucky
- Everyone should own an emerald as it is a piece of the llama heaven
- Do not show sympathy to symathy to naziïsm