Inca Llamaism (Classic)

Inca Llamaism split of from midwestren-Llamaism and northwest-Llamaism on the 29 of January 2018 when Micheal Jackson, (now saint Micheal Jackson) nailed the new rules of Llamaism to the door of the Antofagasta city building door. HolyDalaiLlama is the current pope of the religion.

The Inca Llamaist bible by the true llama god (summarized)

This entire world was all created by one creature, the Llama. The story goes: Once there was a creature, a verry strong creature. He created everything, the water, the land, the tree’s, the plants, the food, the animals and most important he created the human. But when he created more and more he grew weaker and weaker and weaker. And whith the last power he had he grounded  people in modern day Canada near a lake they called Ockmanitshu a book. It wasn’t much but it was holy. In that book stands the same as in this book. It is this book. And as they read the understood what they had to do, travel, travel and travel all the way south to modern day Antofagasta. And they did. It was a long way, it cost 3 entire generations to go there. But in the end it was worth it. The Inca, how they called themselves, were used to the coldness by Ockmanitshu but not to travel, within a month 19 of the 106 died. But the strong survived. They crossed oceans and lakes, they crossed desserts and canyons, they crossed jungles and mountain ranges. But they made it. They had no one to show them the way but a book. And when the were at the spot the book described, their leader, gnubnec II the great, said, “this is it. We stay here”. And so they did. Their first settlement were tents and soon after a wooden structure appears who still stand today. Because of the fertile grounds and rich mountains full of emeralds the town grew faster and faster until a great leader Pachacuti begun to expand the empire to one of the greatest south America has ever seen. They build great big roads big city’s and soon the city was one of the greatest but when a later emperor went to a visit to expand his empire, the empire collapsed and all his gold was raided. And the only option left was join Spain. And so they did, the city grew and was the capitol of the province of Peruvia. And here we are now. The story stops with pope Dalai Llama I he shall continue this story in his words as the popes before him did.

Rules of Inca Llamaism

• Do not steal
• Do not kill
• Do not torture
• Do not destroy what now belongs to you
• Do not kill llamas
• Do not hurt llamas
• Only if you walk beneath the holy llama, you will go to llama heaven and you will be a llama
• Every 12:00 you should pray towards the holy llama statue
• Llava is evil
• Poisones potatoea are unlucky
• Everyone should own an emerald as it is a piece of the llama heaven
• Do not show sympathy to symathy to naziïsm

Inca Llamaists

Pachacuti_

HolyDalaiLlama