Shrekism: Difference between revisions
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== History == | == History == | ||
The ancient native religion in Waddenzee, it was standardized by Pastelant in August 2021 | The ancient native religion in Waddenzee, it was standardized by Pastelant in August 2021 and quickly spread through much of the lowlands. | ||
== Beliefs == | == Beliefs == | ||
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As told in the 3000-line Frisian/Waddenish saga of the Epic of Shrek, before our time, Gods clashed and fought over their different forms of life and worlds of their creation, which they each thought were superior, as thousands of beings across the multiverse were brutally eliminated in their terror. The saga tells how one great and just God, Shrek, defeated them all with his diplomacy and might and brought them to his side -which was no small feat. | As told in the 3000-line Frisian/Waddenish saga of the Epic of Shrek, before our time, Gods clashed and fought over their different forms of life and worlds of their creation, which they each thought were superior, as thousands of beings across the multiverse were brutally eliminated in their terror. The saga tells how one great and just God, Shrek, defeated them all with his diplomacy and might and brought them to his side -which was no small feat. | ||
After all these lesser Gods were thoroughly defeated, he quarreled with the | After all these lesser Gods were thoroughly defeated, he quarreled with the short yet immensely powerful and evil Farquaad of the Twin-Vagabond and the Consumer of Darkness ''(the devil/satan figure)'', before winning an awesome strategic victory where all the other Gods sang or played trumpets and cymbals in his glory. He was anointed and crowned the Omnipotent Grand Prince of the Universe, and the good, reformed lesser Gods were turned into the Knights of Light -an order of fair angels devoted to Shrek and his wisdom. However, he feared other mortal beings may follow the same process as the reformed lesser Gods had before, as all the species were created in their ideal images. So, he made the Knights of Light merge or the realms into a grand celestial bowl of beans. He graciously gave thanks, and ate it. Soon, he thunderously farted out the three new realms - the Higher ''(Hejiriesc)'' , the Middle ''(Madoelriesc)'' and the Lower ''(Deofilriesc)''. He casted Farquaad the evil one into the Lower to rot, and all the combined species into the middle, and gave them other new fair species, and horrible hostile mobs to create literally the moderate world -not too good, not too bad. | ||
To help spread his name among the quarreling players, he rose from the | To help spread his name among the quarreling players at a time of profound crisis, he rose from the Wadden Sea and created great swamps in his higher's image amidst him, and became known as ''"Hie dat froem diepe eriesef"'' (He that rises from the deep). These gifts gave great awe to the tired population, who were suffering from the lack of land to use. After preaching for seven days, he ascended up with the Knights of Light, singing in heavenly counterpoint ''"it's all ogre now"'', before leaving the mortal lands to re-join the heavenly higher. One day, when humanity once again falls into peril and strife, he will come back down to guide us again. | ||
=== Practices === | === Practices === | ||