Pissism: Difference between revisions

=== The Pissism Schism ===

The Pissism Schissism... wait no... The Pism Schism.... no, that's worse... okay, well... The however-you-pronounce-it was a religious schism in the religion of Pissism between 2 new sects, the [[Church of Haybird]], and the [[Northern Orthocox Church]]. This schism occurred on December 22nd, 2021 when [[Nethermite13]], the ruler of [[Acadia]], (currently the most populated Pissist state) claimed that during the rule of [[The Poop|Poop]] [[MattyG2012]], [[Pissism]] had very little growth and began to stall in administration and religious events. He said he grew weary of the Poop's constipation in activity, so he decided to start his own branch of Pissism. [[Acadia]] already had many unregulated liturgical differences compared to main Pissism, and the figure of [[Haybird]] had rooted itself in Acadian tradition. But, NetherMite soon decided the formalize the schism to re-ignite Pissist expansion and activity. He created the Church of Haybird, modifying some aspects of Pissism and updating others to modern standards. On December 22nd, 2021, NetherMite posted the announcement on Acadia's Discord server.{{Quote (Matthi3000 )|[...] Over the past few months, the Pissist church that we oh so devoutly follow has stagnated and has not been able to expand at a rate that we Acadian Pissist's don't see fit for the BallGod's ambitions. Acadia has had Haybirdi Pissism for a while, with Haybird being worshipped as a Jesus sort of figure in the religion. Me and other Acadian officials have come to the decision to separate Haybirdi Pissism from the Avalonese Pissism Church to form the Church of Haybird. This sect of Pissism will focus on modernizing and expanding the religion across EMC, and we hope to one day reintegrate into the core of Pissism to form one united, powerful religion. We will start to push for the construction of Haybirdi Pissism churchs across the world in allied nations as we expand the BallGod's touch upon this Earth.  

Labrador announces the creation of The Northern Orthocox Church. May traditions and power drive us forward to ultimate Pissist Unity.|3=SaltedSuris|Source=Labrador's Discord server.}}

The sects began to get so contentious with their ideals, that even the spelling of their deity's name The Ball God, was different. In Haybirdi Pissism, it is spelled as "The Ballgod", while in Orthocoxy Pissism, it is spelled as "The Ball God". Both sects began to recruit many more nations to their cause, with the likes of Indochina joining the coxies. It was inevitable that both sects would begin a Scrimmage on the subreddit with the power of memes. With both sects veterans of memery from The Catholic Scrimmage already, the first meme on the subject was posted by u/Matthi3000S before the Northern Orthocox Church's creation, featuring a man very visually sweating with the caption "Me when Haybirdism splits off from Pissism", u/SaltedSuris commenting "just you wait", hinting at the Northern Orthocox Church's creation. But outright "battles" between both sects did not occur until u/SaltedSuris posted a two-panel meme on January 3rd, 2022 in which Mr. Incredible, donned with a Pissist Crown and wearing earings bearing the likeness of the Dildo's Dildo, is captioned with the text "praying to the ballgod 🙏", in the second panel, is it a more uncanny monochrome variant of Mr. Incredible, frowning, having goblin ears, and wearing upside-down versions of the Dildo's Dildo, is captioned with "praying to a literal bird". The Haybirdites countered this meme the next day with another two-panel meme. The first frame featured two soyjak men with glasses crying. They had donned red upside-down Dildo's Dildo lookalikes and had a pile of TNT and a flint & steel with them. The text above them read "Virgin Orthocoxy Worshippers", with the first man saying "NOOOOO, we need to ruin [[Pissmas]] by creating a radical religious group on our most holy holiday!!!!!", and the second recounting "Yes, let's stagnate the religion and ruin the fun of Pissmas for all Pissists! Frick Haybird!". The second panel featured two chad men wearing necklaces donned with purple beads and golden replicas of the Dildo's Dildo hanging from them. The text above them read "Chad Haybirdi Worshippers", with the first man saying "Yo, you wanna celebrate Pissmas regardless of religious background and enjoy a day of fun-filled Pissist activities?", and the second man saying "Of course, sir, let's enjoy this holy day. Praise Haybird and Bless the BallGod!". Memes kept coming from both sects, and the comments were filled with argument. Eventually though, simiarly to the Catholic Scrimmage, both sects quieted down, and both claimed victory, with no official end to the scrimmage, it is technically still ongoing.