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History of Pissism
Pissism Old Testament
Pissism is the official Religion of the nation of Avalon on EarthMC that was created when various users from ancient Avalon were trying to craft their nation, but had to deal with constant Bactria griefers stealing their gold before they could establish towns. Desperate to establish a nation of their own, Avalon citizens prayed and prayed that some overarching force would keep the Bactrian griefers away so they could establish a society. This repeated for many days and many nights until finally one night a user by the name of Dabs_All_OvarYT was praying when he had a vision. It was him in his makeshift home exiting to get some water when a whole squad of Bactrian griefers came across the ice road. He says he thought he was done for, when suddenly out of the sky. A giant shirtless godly figure flew down to earth, and using the legendary powers of ejaculation warded the Bactrian griefers away. After the griefers were gone, the figure looked at Dabs_All_OvarYT and said. "I will protect your kind for until the end of time itself. I grant my nutty powers to you all. Place at a minimum, three blocks going across and two blocks going upwards from the middle, or any size variation of that, along with the date of creation and adding my Discord ID (WeebyDeeby#7487) to every object created. These will be known as "Pee Pees" And my powers and I will keep you safe". Dabs was stunned, he asked what we must call such a legendary being. and the figure responded with; "The Ball God, now, May the Pee Pee be with you".
the vision reportedly finished after that and Dabs woke up in his minecraft bed. He then immediately followed the Ball God's instructions and placed the blocks required. Bactria would never raid Avalon again and Dabs would get the required amount of gold to create the town of pee_pee_island. In honor of the Ball God and the fact that the town was established Dabs_All_OvarYT crafted the pee_pee_island national monument, the pee pee.
About a month later, a user by the name of Riley_McDonut had wanted to make a town in the same area as pee_pee_island. He originally did not like Dabs's town getting in the way of his master plan, and planned to enemy him. But before it was too late, he had the same vision as Dabs had. And he created the town of Dildo. And to honor the Ball God Riley created the Dildo of Dildo, with it's uniquely magenta color. Although many towns have been established, no other visions have occurred since. However, in November; Riley destroyed the Dildo in order to make a new Avalon-themed Museum (entitled the Balloseum)
To spread the protection the Ball God brings, many Pissists have placed pee pee structures all over the world in their journeys. Pissists usually appreciate when they see screenshots of the pee pees they have placed shown to them by other players.
Pissism New Testament
the Pissism Crusade and the Appointment of a Poop
In September, townowner Megablocklyng becomes ever so interested in Pissism. as he owned a town in avalon, he was already a pissist. but he wanted more to do with his religion. He started building PP churches through out land, starting with one in his town and going from there. he cared for the sexually-hungry and gave them satisfaction. He was awarded in his efforts by Avalon nation leader Riley_McDonut, who asked the Ball god via discordapp who appointed him as the first Poop, Pissism's equivalent of a Pope, Mega was now the religious head of religious affairs, and would be grateful. However, war in spain had erupted, and as he had allies in spain Mega left Avalon for a duration to fight in the war. he would still remain religious. He was away for 1 month and even his town fell, but after the war, he set up a nation in northwestern Africa, and anounced that pissism would be the official religion there.
during the months of September to November, various world leaders of neighboring nation Quebec (now known as Canada) to Avalon actively denounce and prod against Pissism, instead stating that Bruhism is the true way to live under the god of bruh. This obviously angered the Poop, who with help from Dabs_All_OvarYT, teleported to Quebec's capital with stacks of magenta terracotta and placed various Dildoes and PPs all over the place to exact a religious crusade. Even though most of the PPs were removed later, the crusade was seen as a moderate success. Eventually, the main gamer against Pissism, Scorpionzzx, said he would convert to pissism if Avalon were to vote for him in an election. Not really caring about the election, Avalon supported and Scorpion, along with the rest of Quebec, were converted to Pissism
In addition, Riley_McDonut also at this time in order to build a new Avalon-themed Museum, entitled the "Balloseum", he destroyed the Dildo's Dildo to gain more space, This accidentally sparked the dark era of Avalon. Where Avalon lost a significant part of its territory and playerbase. It is theorized that the Ball God was not happy with riley and therefore cursed the nation into a depression.
Pissism in the Poop Dealers and Penis Inspector Gang War
Although the Poop Dealer vs Penis Inspector Gang War was a conflict mostly centered around drug cartels, Pissism played a moderate role in the gang war, as one of the factions were the Penis Inspectors who often either lived in Pissist Areas such as Avalon or Western_Sahara (Spanish_Sahara), or were Pissist themselves. Pissist Nations supported the Penis Inspectors in this December-January Conflict.
Emergence of Beeism and the Sex Army
In Late February 2020, the server updates to 1.15.2. Adding with it bees. A rogue pissist RedY0shi forms a new religion worshiping the infidel bees instead of the PPs entitled Beeism. It spreads rapidly like wet butter and Pissism feels threatened. Therefore, the Sex Army is formed.
A weird mish-mash between the KBG and the Spanish Inquisition except its on a Minecraft server using Pissism. Its main goal is to keep Pissism the dominant Religion on the server through coordinated Crusades and offences against Beeism and other Forces Against Pissism (Shortened to FAP for simplicity). Much like the religion itself the Sex Army is run by high-ranking Pissist officials such as the Poop Megablocklyng and Shite Dabs_All_OvarYT.
On March 8, suddenly. The Dildo's Dildo awakened from its long slumber beneath the Balloseum and broke through the floor from below. It then began rising until rupturing the ceiling and continuing until the height limit.
Was the Ball God finally placing the Dildo's Dildo back HIMSELF and garnering a new age in Avalon? possibly, it is theorized that through the efforts of the rapidly increasing pissist population, and the efforts of the Sex army may have swayed the Ball God into releasing the hold on Avalonese expansion. Soon after the eruption, many pissists began to come to the site of the Dildo's New Dildo. They starting praying to it and licking it and trying to climb to the top of it. People were very excited to have the Dildo's Dildo back, even if it was mostly unintentional. On Discord, a voice chat was arranged to celebrate it's rebirth and many pissists including Conman and imabritishcow changed their profile pictures to that of an Avalon Ball drawing done by an unkown arteest.
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the Pissism Documentary and Kush
For the past few months, high-ranking members of the Sex Army expressed wishing that Pissism had it's own internationally recognized state. That dream, at the time looked unbelievable due to the price of a nation. However, fellow gamer Flame51 had donated almost 500 gold to the cause, and on March 21rst, Megablocklyng sold his nation of Western_Sahara to someone, and left to remake his beloved town Pissistan in Kush. Kush itself is an actual past IRL nation in lower egypt. Mega made Kush and Pissistan however, due to some unexplainable force, possibly by the mods, possibly by the bactrians, and possibly by the beeists, the server had to be restarted and all towns reset to 6 hours before the restart, before Kush was made. Mega made a ticket and became extremely impatient with the mods, as they seemed more content in dealing with fickle anti-pissist griefing tickets rather than restoring an entire nation. As of March 24th, they still haven't responded.
Pissism has had, mostly unknown history even to those that are Pissist. To document, the history of the religion, Dabs_All_OvarYT released a short film documentary of the History of Pissism promptly named "Pissism, our Joke Minecraft Server Religion" under the studio 20th Century Faux, a subsidiary of Faux News. It was released on March 23nd, 2020 and features both appearances from Dabs but also Riley_McDonut under his Youtube name 'I am E'. Even though Kush wasn't mentioned much in the video due to the film production starting before Kush's creation, it did get a small shoutout in the closure of the film. The video became immensely popular and received much positive attension in a short amount of time, and even got to the point where the Beeists tried to raid Avalon due to being denounced in the documentary. However, the newfound attention that Pissism was getting from the documentary would push not only Pissism, but earthmc religions in general into the mainstream, causing some good, and some bad.
Minor Religions, Kush's Birthday and Pissism goes Corporate
With Pissism's newfound attention from the documentary, this led to people wanting the same level of fame and new religions popping up in the server, with players wanting to become famous as well. Such as Witherism and Lakeism. Many of them stating weird reasons at how their religion is not against Pissism because x y and z = penis. Such as in Witherism, where the Witherists claimed that when you flip a wither over, it looks like a PP with 3 scrotums. This may have been an excuse to not be crusaded by the Pissists.
This also leads to a user by the name of xRonald_Reaganx making outrageous claims about Pissism in chat. Such as stating how it's a cult and it's not ethical. However, he then revealed publicly that he would be making a Protestant sect of Pissism to quote-on-quote "Fix your mistakes", this angered the general Pissist public, who with help from the Sex Army; Teleported to Ronaldo's nation of Imperial_Canada and began and intense crusade all across his nation. Afterwards, Ronald's been a lot more quiet about Protestant Pissism, which may have been due to the crusade. It was also around this time that the Pissism Crusades of the Sex Army became less frequent, but more tactical. Members began buying Embassy plots in other towns in order to build Pissism Churches and spread the religion.
A month later, Remcoms; a Shite of Pissism. Purchases the nation of Kaska; the Birthplace of Beeism from Beeist Founder RedY0shi for 500 Gold. He makes Pissism the national religion of Kaska, but to appease to the locals he makes Beeism and Pissism joint religions in the area. This important moment in Pissist history would forever hamper Beeism's expansion efforts as the Pissists had owned them now.
On April 20th, 2020. Also known as the "Hundred-year Weed Day". A crusade on the ruins of Pissist Kush was set up. As by the time 4/20/20 had struck, Kush's accidental wipe of the bottom had turned one month old. St. Dabs_All_OvarYT of Pee_Pee_Island, St. Remcoms of Kaska, Flame 51 of St. Pierre, and Captainpatakis of Kheta would attend the legendary crusade.
Due to the closest nation to Kush's ruins being closed, They had to trek long and hard all the way from /n spawn Israel through the red sea and through a canal to reach the coming of the four waters that Kush's former capital Pissistan was located on. Due to rules regarding accidentally erased towns and if they can be griefed or not, Pissist Kush was a safehaven for any Pee Pees placed down, and so the Pissists took full advantage of that. With the former town owner's permission, the crusadiers were allowed to place as many PPs as they pleased, thus forming the densest single area of Pee Pees in the entire world, with a mean average of 1 Pee Pee every 12 blocks walked near the outskirts and as close as 1 Pee Pee every 7 blocks near the middle! Along with that, Pissist Kush holds the record for the most different species of PPs in a single area, this includes the normal species, giant PPs, floating PPs, planking PPs, chest PPs, tower PPs, bridge PPs, TNT PPs, and many many more. Once the crusaders had acomplished a notable amount of Pee Pee creation, Dabs crowned himself Sultan Dabs Al Ovar of the Kushites and proclaimed that "we should crusade here again, it was fun" (albeit his new surname was exclusive to the continent of Africa). However, sadly after a half-hour of Pee Pee birthing sessions the crusadiers were attacked by a dedicated griefer and had to flee. However, Flame51 was not part of a town and just kept respawning 10 blocks away. The griefer had tried to remove some of the pee pees however this is very haram and against ballgod and also within the territory of Kush so the Pee Pees returned to kush just like the dolphins to italy. A video on the event would be uploaded by Remcoms to his youtube channel a few hours later. It would be only 10 seconds off from the epic weed number duration and stand at 4 minutes and 10 seconds long.
Beliefs
Pissists believe that the pee pees are a holy symbol and should be placed literally everywhere. Pissists believe they keep everyone safe and if destroyed they will often be provoked and place them again.
Pissists will often say "May the Pee Pee be with you!" or the less popular "May the Ball God have his eyes on you!" instead of common sayings like "Good luck", keep this in mind while being a Pissist
More beliefs and rules
- Pissists have a sacred rule where because they need as many pee pee structures active as possible, they cannot eat any foods that resemble pee pees, such as Carrots and Beetroot. Although it is okay to sell to non-Pissists
- anything dyed in white or yellow is sacred, because they come out of pee pees. Although it is okay to sell them, many buildings are encouraged to be made out of white/yellow concrete, end stone, or quartz.
- When a fellow Pissist dies in battle, other Pissists will commemorate his service by pissing on his/her dead body and building a pee pee-shaped gravestone for him/her, with a sign marked with his username.
- Pissism is a cascading religion, meaning that even if someone if not aware of it and joins a pissist town or nation and does not renounce the religion, it carries with them to whatever town or nation they may join or found.
- Pee Pees aren't grief, and aren't to be treated as grief either. Pee Pees are supposed to be intrigued at not mildly annoyed. As so, you can't overdo Pee Pee Placement nor make or destroy a Pee Pee as a non-Pissist
More Pissism Lore
Predominantly Pissist towns
- All towns within the nation of Avalon
- All towns within the nation of Slave
- All towns within the nation of Kush (Holyland of Pissism)
- All towns within the nation of South_Canada
- All towns within the nation of Greater_Armenia
- All towns within the nation of Kaska
- All towns within the nation of Canada (won religious war against Canada)
- All towns within the nation of Michigan (president used to be part of Avalon)
- All towns within the nation of USA (nation leader used to be part of Avalon)
- HentaiHaven (Imperial Japan, settled by Avalon settlers)
- Ketapang (Demak, settled by Avalon settlers)
- Puerto_Rico (Puerto_Rico, adopted religion)
- Zinder (Niger, settled by Avalon settlers)
- Obamapolis (Poland, adopted religion)
- Ostrava (Czechoslovakia, settled by Avalon settlers)
- Pee_Pee_Byen (Svalbard)
How can I convert to Pissism?
It comes in multiple steps, some easier than others. We've made it simple to remember to convert, just remember this acronym!
- Denounce your current (in-game lol) religion publicly so all know. You can skip this step if you are irreligious or didn't know religion can be a thing in a block game.
- Ingrain your new belief by building a Pee Pee anywhere in the world. Can be next to your home or in the other side of the world. Do it tomorrow or even spice it up a bit by building another added PP every day that goes by. Take screenshots of them too, Make it a habit!
- Convince someone high in Pissism that by doing placing Pee Pees, you should join the religion. Ask a Shite, Poop or even the Ball God himself. Although he may be busy with Butholba's Witnesses. Show them the screenshots of the PPs you have built.
- Know your responsibilities, As a newly reformed Pissist. You have a alot of responsibilities to deal with. Check by PPs youve placed to make sure they are still there if you want. Participate in crusades against the unholy. Have Fun!
So if you ever find somebody that wants to convert, just remember you have your D.I.C.K. to help you!
How do i leave Pissism for another religion?
you can't.
Pissism Tier List
Here ye lies a tier list of important roles and titles in the Pissist Faith, we shall start at the bottom.
- Regular Pissist: commonfolk. Cool because they worship ballgod but have little religious power
- Shite (St.): Shites are the equivalent of Saints in the real world. They are Pissist individuals who have committed an array of good deeds to their faith that they have been accepted by the Ballgod himself as a religious leader. Examples of Shites include St. Dabs_All_OvarYT of Pee_Pee_Island, who had constructed the first PP ever after seeing the ballgod in a dream. And St. Riley_McDonut of Dildo who constructed the largest PP ever named the Dildo in his same town named Dildo after having a similiar event to Dabs.
- Poop (Pp.) the Poop is the equivalent of the Pope in the real world. There can only be one at a time in the same server and before one departs he must appoint an heir. The Poop has the most religious power of any one player individual and stands second only to the ballgod himself. They are often very obsessed with Pissism to the point where it as consumed their life. The current Poop in the sever is Poop Megablocklyng.
Current List of Important Pissists
- Pp. Megablocklyng I - Poop Megablocklyng was the first appointed Poop in all of Pissist History, and so far has not needed to appoint another heir. Although it is expected that if he were to resign he would peacefully appoint another heir. There is however, a plan in place for when he does however pass away surprisingly with no last messages related to this. Megablocklyng in real life is a bisexual German. Perfect for the role as Poop of a religion worshiping the male genitalia. He wasn't born a pissist and actually was part of one of the many germanies before leaving to join Avalon. He made his first town Pissistan and immediately started Worshiping Pissism. He spread Pissism from North America to Africa and Europe and more. He loved it so much that the Ballgod himself appointed him as Poop of Pissism.
- St. Dabs_All_OvarYT of Pee Pee Island - Shite Dabs_All_OvarYT (or just Dabs or Dabs of PP or St. Dabs for short) was the first mortal individual to ever glance upon the ball god himself. Refering to the Old Testament. He saw the ball god in a version. He was instructed to build the first Pee Pee as well. This along with the fact that he logged most of the history of Pissism earned him the right to enter as a Shite of Pissism
- St. Riley_McDonut of Dildo - Shite Riley_McDonut was the second and last only individual to glance upon the ball god. He originally did not like Dabs's town encroaching upon his borders and if not persuaded by the ball god might have spelt the end of Pissism. His contruction of the Dildo's Dildo along with making Pissism the national religion of the nation of Avalon earned him the right to enter as a Shite of Pissism
- St. Scorpionzzx of Rennes - Shite Scorpionzzx; similiar to Riley did not at first like this one nation doing well south of his, and schemed to create a rival religion to take out Pissism. He adopted Bruhism and this kicks off many crusades against Quebec (Now Canada). After alot of crusadering he proposed a deal to the Pissism Council. He would convert himself and the rest of Quebec to Pissism if all Pissists were to vote for him in an upcoming elections. Since politics are pointless the Pissists accepted the deal and Scorp converted. He even built the largest standing Pissism church by chunks in the server. This along with his eagerness to spread Pissism after the crusades earned him the right to enter as a Shite of Pissism
- St. MattyG2012 of pee_pee_island - Shite MattyG2012 is a friend of Dabs_All_OvarYT that helped him with early buildings in pee pee island. He helped get a lot of the town off the ground that paved the way to Pissism's spread. He also participated in the earliest known record of what could be considered a Pissism Crusade, which occured during the Greenland Crisis against Baptiste1006
- St. ToboCoolMan2000 of pee_pee_island - Similiar to matt, Shite ToboCoolMan2000 is MattyG2012's brother, and also helped with infrastructure and stuff. Also assisted with the first recorded crusade as he attended much of the crusade.
- St. Remcoms of Kaska - Shite Remcoms had lived in Avalon and Slave in his past-time. He encouraged people to convert to pissism and has been on a few pee pee crusades like the one near Gasepeise where he placed some pee pees outside of its capital, and on the highly notable Kushite Birthday Crusade. He currently owns Kaska, a former Beeist stronghold, and he also has a church in Maluku which coincidentally the king of Maluku is Remcodd.
How do i get entered as a Shite or a Poop?
To get entered as a Shite, you must have done some important array of tasks and have been approved by the Current Poop. If you do anything out of line with Pissism however, the Poop can redact you from whatever Shitery.
To get entered, or ordained as a Poop. It is mostly Impossible. As there can only be one per server, only a few select individuals will ever be a Poop in the servers lifespan. So pucker up to the current Poop and may the pee pee be with you!
Pissism Runes
Pissism Runes are an informal term for the language used in Old Testament-age Pissism relics and for quotes in Pissism Churches. The actual language being used is Ancient Avalonese, a precursor for the modern day Avalonese and Anglicized Avalonese. The runes are not from the roman alphabet and show the possible birthplace of Pissism, which may have been from east Africa. They are often called Pissism Runes by those who are not familiar with Pissism. Many high-ranking officials such as Shites or the Poop can read Ancient Avalonese, and as a Poop it is a requirement to both read and speak it fluently. Think of it as the Latin of Pissism; pointless unless you are religious.
Butholba's Witnesses
Butholba's Witnesses are individuals that have falsely or ongoingly claim to have seen the Ball God or have had visions of seeing the Ball god. These accusations are often done for clout or by those who failed the entry test for Shites and still want to get in. Luckily, these claims are often debunked by asking the Ball God himself over Discord. They are called Butholba's Witnesses because a 'Buthol' is an Ancient Avalonese term for a false prophet. And the '-ba' suffix implies that it is a person's name or identity. Therefor identifying the person who made these wacky claims, as quite the liar of such magnitudes.
Lists of Pissism Churches
St. Dabs_All_OvarYT of pee_pee_island Pissism Cathedral --- pee_pee_island, Avalon
Pissism Temple --- Rennes, Canada
St. Riley_McDonut of Dildo Pissism Church --- Windmere, Canada
St. MattyG2012 of pee_pee_island Pissism Church --- St. John, America
St. ToboCoolman2000 of pee_pee_island Pissism Church --- New_Scotland, Canada
St. Peter Pissism Church --- Ketapang, Demak
St. Remcoms Pissism Church --- Angar, Maluku
Screenshots of Pee Pees around the world
anyone that finds these legendary Pee Pees, please post the image in this section with the caption of the location.
