Siege of Rexburg

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Revision as of 12:13, 6 December 2021 by >Chaleb
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This article describes a current event. Information may become outdated as the situation unfolds. Last updated 1:05AM MDT 6 December 2021

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Anti-Cascadian and Italian propaganda
St. Scorpionzzx Church of Pissism, built during the siege
The Church after the second suicide bombing

The Siege of Rexburg is an ongoing conflict between the small town of Rexburg and Cascadia. It was triggered by the International Blockade of Rexburg late on 5 December 2021.

Background

While Cascadia had been irritated with Rexburg's presence in Wyoming for quite some time, the breaking point came when antxasil, the mayor of Rexburg, stole god armour from Texas, a Cascadian ally. After a gradual escalation, Cascadian armies, led by EstiQT, moved south from Wyoming and occupied the town. Rcvq, a historic rival of Cascadia, briefly joined Rexburg to support it.

Diplomatic Attempt

When he caught wind of conversation being held about Rexburg on Cascadia's Discord server, antxasil joined the server to begin diplomatic talks with Cascadia. The Cascadians promptly threatened him and tried to force him to give them over 200 gold, an amount which exceeded the total amount in Rexburg's town bank by at least a factor of 10. Instead of giving into these demands, antxasil bravely stood his ground in the face of overwhelming odds to fulfill his commitment to Mormon Allah to defend the Promised Land, telling the Cascadians to "eat my shit," while replying to them exclusively with gifs. It was at this point that Cascadia decided to send its army after the small town.

antxasil's famous words "eat my shit" have since become a rallying cry for Rexburgers everywhere.

The Siege

The occupation went well at first, with resistance being suppressed and some items being funneled out of the city. Santacruiser, a pissist missionary, also arrived on the Cascadian side and built multiple Pee Pees and constructed a church. After some time, EstiQT passed over control of the local military to OriginalDogster. The new church was eventually the target of multiple suicide bombings by antxasil, which led to an escalation of fighting as antxasil equipped his armour to more safely defend the town, and Cascadia became wary of the possibility of a winnable fight on their end. While Dogster, Oilerator, and Santacruiser feigned retreat in order to catch the Rexburgers off guard, they remained in the town. The offensive was called off for the night.

Neutral Observer Corps Mission

The newly-established Neutral Observer Corps, or NOC, is an ongoing operation of the Alberta Defence Force in the Rexburg region. Other participants are welcome to participate in the NOC regardless of nationality. Alberta was originally a participant in the international occupation of Rexburg with 32Oreo being present during the blockade, but following the escalation involving Cascadia, it revised its operation to a strictly neutral role observing the conflict for wrongdoing by both sides. The NOC had established small observation posts outside of Rexburg by the end of 5 December.