Poop Dealer vs Penis Inspector Gang War
Template:Battle templateThe Poop Dealers vs Penis Inspectors Gang War (CBT) is̶ ̶a̶̶̶ ̶̶̶s̶̶̶e̶̶̶x̶̶̶u̶̶̶a̶̶̶l̶̶̶ ̶̶̶a̶̶̶c̶̶̶t̶̶̶i̶̶̶v̶̶̶i̶̶̶t̶̶̶y̶̶̶ ̶̶̶i̶̶̶n̶̶̶v̶̶̶o̶̶̶l̶̶̶v̶̶̶i̶̶̶n̶̶̶g̶̶̶ ̶̶̶a̶̶̶p̶̶̶p̶̶̶l̶̶̶i̶̶̶c̶̶̶a̶̶̶t̶̶̶i̶̶̶o̶̶̶n̶̶̶ ̶̶̶o̶̶̶f̶̶̶ ̶̶̶p̶̶̶a̶̶̶i̶̶̶n̶̶̶ ̶̶̶o̶̶̶r̶̶̶ ̶̶̶c̶̶̶o̶̶̶n̶̶̶s̶̶̶t̶̶̶r̶̶̶i̶̶̶c̶̶̶t̶̶̶i̶̶̶o̶̶̶n̶̶̶ ̶̶̶t̶̶̶o̶̶̶ ̶̶̶t̶̶̶h̶̶̶e̶̶̶ ̶̶̶p̶̶̶e̶̶̶n̶̶̶i̶̶̶s̶̶̶,̶ ̶̶̶t̶̶̶e̶̶̶s̶̶̶t̶̶̶i̶̶̶c̶̶̶l̶̶̶e̶̶̶s̶̶̶ ̶o̶r̶ ̶s̶i̶m̶i̶l̶i̶a̶r̶ ̶g̶e̶n̶i̶t̶a̶l̶s̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶m̶. (PDvsPIGW for short) acronym pronounced as "pee-dee-vee-ess-PIG-wee" is a Gang War between the 2 most powerful and most relevant Drug Cartels in north america, the Poop Dealers and the Penis Inspectors, who were mostly uncontested in their own hallucinogenic spheres until finally coming into contact and in due time conflict over the city of Chicago, capital of Illinois. Chicago was a prime spot for dealing in various drugs, and both factions would fight over the city furiously. although there is debate on whether the "Gang War" title should be kept as nation's governments themselves are getting involved.
the Gang War Timeline
Meeting of the Waters (July.1.2019 - November.21.2019)
at this date, the gang war hadn't started just yet. the Penis Inspectors and Poop Dealers were merely another company to one another, they were so far away geographically they couldn't possibly get into any conflict. the Poop Dealers; although originally being founded in Mumbai, India due to the cheap, overwhelming prevalence of feces in the area, were able to get a substantial foothold in the new world through their recently purchased Poop Dealers of California division. This may have also been the cause for the increase of fecal matter randomly appearing on Californese streets. Having a hold in the new world was a good starter for the Poop Dealers, but even with these two areas combined they weren't making nearly enough gold to survive long-term. They had to think for greener pastures. the Poop Dealers looked to Chicago, the most depressing city on EarthMC Earth. Chicago has been historically infamous for their gangs and drug abuse so the Poop Dealers took to take advantage of the city's history by founding the Poop Dealers of Chicago division, they bought a shop plot and began pooping. however, right around the bathroom stall was someone they did not expect to meet. the Penis Inspectors have a very similar story to the poop dealers, being founded in Vatican. they originally had morals but threw them out almost immediately. However, instead of merely awaiting time and purchasing other divisions. the Penis Inspectors were forced out of their home town soon after being established. The Italian Peninsula was being divided and warred upon by the forces of Italy and Italia. the Italians accused the Penis Inspectors of supporting the Italians and were forced out of the Vatican. Young and weak, they seeked a new home to start their Penis Inspecting business up again. They Stopped at Brittain, who was interested but was more concerned with other events at the time to set them up, so instead they went across the transatlantic and landed in Canada. They came upon a strange land, one felted with penis-worshipping perverts. They originally saw this as gross and would go back to europe but the citizens of the nation that they had landed in, Avalon, took the opportunity to buy a handful of penis inspections. the Penis Inspectors agreed as any gold is good gold and soon after they had learnt that these Avalonese do actually worship the very things they inspect and had asked the religious Poop if they could set up shop here. the Poop said yes with glee and gave them a shop plot in Avalon's Capital; Dildo. the Penis Inspectors would make this their new home and would soon have enough gold to expand out of just Avalon. They wanted to make sure they found a good place to set up a second shop, else risk another poverty catastrophe. so the Penis Inspectors looked to Chicago, the most depressing city on EarthMC Earth. Chicago had been historically infamous for their gangs and drug abuse so the Penis Inspectors took to take advantage of the city's history by founding the Penis Inspectors of Chicago, they bought a shop plot and began to sell their typical penis inspections. however, right around the bathroom stall was someone they did not expect to meet.
the Geneva Convention II (November.22.2019 - November.30.2019)
the Poop Dealers and Penis Inspectors historically made first contact when an minimum-wage employee of the Poop Dealers of Chicago was finishing up his shift minus the f and decided to take a walk around town. he went up north when he saw an enchanting windowsill. he originally regarded it as a porn store and went inside thinking thus so. He looked at the menu and suggested the "ball-busting" option just for kicks, addressing it as receiving a weird sex tape. He paid but was directed over to a special chair. he complied and sat down, a towel was laid around him. "you smell quite fragrant" the worker said to him, yet he thought this was an ironic comment and did not respond. he waited for a good minute before thinking that he might need to get back home to his family when the worker came back with a small wrecking ball and absolutely neutered the employee. The employee, now sterility angry steamed out of the building with his scrotum in a twist. He thought the worker did this out of rage due to the fact that he chose not to respond to the worker's comment. However, this was actually the Penis Inspectors Chicago headquarters, and the "ball-busting" that he had ordered had successfully been delivered. the worker, seeing the employee steam out thought the employee had a kink and ignored him passive-aggressively. Several more of these events would take place, and tension was rising between the Poop Dealers and Penis Inspectors. There needed to be some discussion and debates else this would escalate, some parties wanted more stores to open near rival stores. Luckily, they were both compliant and the Poop Dealers and Penis Inspectors arranged the Geneva Convention II, albeit it was not hosted in the Geneva in switzerland but instead the Geneva in Illinois. the convention was a large gathering. Even the CEOs of both cartels attended the meeting. The Main focus of the conference was to install unending peace and prosperity for both of the companies' divisions in Chicago but it seemed to only lead to more division. the Regional Managers of the Chicago Divisions both wanted a different view of how chicago would look. Huey_Freeman01, Regional Manager of the Chicago Poop Dealers wished to Divide Chicago evenly between the two companies, therefore no more incidents would occur. But the Regional Manager of the Chicago Penis Inspectors Dabs_All_OvarYT wanted the Poop Dealers out of Chicago as the Penis Inspectors had tried even harder than the Poop Dealers to enter into the drug cartel ring. The Debate lasted an entire minecraft day and it was ruled at the end by Judge Pierronus21 that a straight line divide the control of chicago between the two companies, and you couldn't install new stores in the other companies' "territory", the Poop Dealers were very fond of this change, but a mass of the Penis Inspectors were angered by Pierronus21's decision, mostly as the poop dealers weren't forced out of Chicago, Pierronus21 had said that a violation of the Geneva Convention would mean state intervention and forced kicking of the offending parties' shops from Chicago along with the rest of Illinois, so it wouldn't make much sense to go ahead and violate it. oh, but in the gangster business, its about making money, not sense.
Shots Fired (December.1.2019)
the following day, an attempt was made on Huey_Freeman01's life by Dabs_All_OvarYT in a chicago suburb. Huey was reportedly killed and Dabs suffered minor punching damage. This was an immense outrage to both factions, and Dabs was fired from the Regional Manager role. but the damage was done,
Various Poop Dealers started to graffiti the absolute cr*p out of Penis Inspector stores. They stook dynamite in urinals, calling for war. Although killing was not noted in the Geneva Convention's outcome, the state was doing absolutely nothing to combat the rampant gangly affairs now occurring and it was rumored Pierronus21 had slept through everything after the convention, this was the final straw. After realizing that the state would no absolutely nothing to stop what the factions may do, the Poop Dealers of Chicago officially declared war on the Penis Inspectors of Chicago. And to retaliate, the Penis Inspectors did the same. the Poop Dealers would be at risk of producing poop in chicago, and would instead import from Caifornia. the Penis Inspectors did the same with Avalon
Living Conditions during the War (December.1.2019 - present)
Chicago was now not only the crappiest city in EarthMC Earth, but also the most dangerous and volatile one. Factions would often disguise themselves as random citizens to ambush the opposite faction, so even going out in public was a death sentence as if you smelled even slightly bad or forgot to wash your foreskin routinely, you would most surely be mistaken for a member of either cartel. Customers with addictions to either material would go to intense ends to seek out their daily poop or pee, either buying out of state, or make some good gold off of risking your life to get to the Penis Inspector or Poop Dealer Shops, and as the gang war wagged on the working conditions became even more like the chinese. Strikes would be put down violently and tagged as "poop dealer involvement" or "penis inspector involvement". Even spies were an issue in the higher-ups of both cartels, as both of them had ripoff versions of the KGB. for the Poop Dealers it was the SFD (Silent Fart Dealers) and for the Penis Inspectors it was the NII- (Nightly Inspector inspections) a huge chunk of the spies weren't very well trained, but some soared so high above the others they ascended.
Battle of West Side (December.16.2019)
after being fired, Dabs_All_OvarYT made a pretty penny off of both cartels paying him in gold to produce propaganda on the subreddit, although more on the shitpost side these propaganda pieces were, they helped to get the gang war into the mainstream. Which in hindsight was not something very preferable. Brittain, mistaking the Geneva Convention violation that occurred here for the Geneva Convention in Switzerland, Joined the gang war on the side of the Penis Inspectors as they were the ones that had war declared against them.
In response, the Penis Inspectors Pressured californese neighbors Alaskan Empire and Cascadia to assist them in the gang war by redirecting them to fortniteburger.net every time they engaged in human contact, they agreed but only to supply them with resources and manpower as to avoid war with Brittain. This cascaded into multiple nations allying the opposite faction to their rivals or enemies and rooting for them like its a football game, and all these nations came together at a border at Chicago. a battle was arranged. Huey_Freeman01, now rested and respawned announced on popular Canadian joke news source Faux News that a massive battle between the Poop Dealers of Chicago and Penis Inspectors of Chicago would happen on the 16th of December, it was scheduled for some time in the afternoon. When the time arrived, nearly 20+ players arrived in Chicago for battle. Each armed with their choice of ball-stretcher or poop emoji plushy pillow. In a blink of an eye, Huey enabled PVP and everyone, including himself, started fighting. after about 2-5 minutes, the Penis Inspectors had won out. Almost carried by the might of the Brittish armada. Huey regards this as a personal loss as he was fighting as a Poop Dealer, and as a result the Penis Inspectors annexed a decently sized chunk of Poop Dealer Territory. However, soon after the fight ended. Various players from random nations came from the n spawn and caused a great killing as PVP had been left on
Marvin Pact pulls some Strings (December.17.2019)
After the killings, it was revealed as THE big plot twist that the entire time, the Marvin Pact had been controlling both the Poop Dealers AND Penis Inspectors and through anonymity and manipulation forced them to fight against eachother. This was later confirmed by a meme on the reddit by a upper-middle-class member of the Marvin Pact. This is the Peak of the PDvsPIGW, it only goes downhill from here.
Various nations pull support but some couple stay to see what happens. It is assumed that Dabs_All_OvarYT was a member of the pact as he stopped posting propaganda after the marvin pact plot twist. Many of the shops in Chicago closed down soon afterward for a related reason, and life returned mostly to a normal point in Chicago. Although the gang war transitioned from a bloody conflict to both an internet meme and it still has a cult following in modern-day EarthMC Chicago. But with little memes on the subject anymore and more and more newborn illinosese becomming not learnt of the topic, it seems the piss-coloured sun has set on this poopy meme.
What can we learn from the Gang War?
it is super easy to force a meme on the EarthMineCraft.NetWork server through constant memes and propaganda on the subreddit and backing from multiple nations.