Siege of Rexburg

This article describes a current event. Information may become outdated as the situation unfolds. Last updated 9th of December 2021, at 16:04 EST.

The Siege of Rexburg, also known as The Crusade of Rexburg or The Pissist Restoration of Rexburg, was a conflict between the MSIU, and Cascadia with their allies, centered around the Mormon town of Rexburg. The conflict was triggered by the International Blockade of Rexburg late one night on 5 December 2021.

The Siege of Rexburg Cascadia occupies Rexburg's warehouse Date 5th of December, 2021 - Present Location Rexburg, North America Result Status Stalemate Territorial changes Belligerents Cascadia Italia Alberta Rexburg Neutral Observer Corps Commanders and leaders Unknown Unknown Unknown Strength Cascadia (4) EstiQT OriginalDogster Oilerator Furballen Italia (1) Santacruiser Alberta 32Oreo Rexburg (5) antxasil ainsleyisgod Moyashiro__ chaleb27 Neutral Observer Corps (1) Casualties and losses Cascadia None Rexburg antxasil: 4 (2 self) Unknown

Background Information

Cascadia had, for quite some time, had an interest with Rexburg's unique position on the world map. However, Rexburg's mayor, Antxasil, refused to join Cascadia, prefering to decline joining any nation whatsoever. This kept tensions high for a duration of weeks, where both sides were eager to initiate warfare against one-another. After many long hours of intimidation and propaganda, Antxasil decided to steal a set of God Armour from the nation of Texas, which was an ally of Cascadia. After Texas notified Cascadia of the event, EstiQT, the Cascadian Secretary of Defense, in response to theft of the God Armour, led a slew of armies south to Wyoming and occupied the town. During the occupation of Rexburg, Rcvq, historically an enemy of Cascadia, briefly joined Rexburg to support it, but left for an unknown reason.

Anti-Cascadian and Italian propaganda

Diplomatic Endeavors

After some time of occupation, Antxasil joined Cascadia's Discord server in order to monitor diplomatic talks between Cascadia and Rexburg. The Cascadians declared that they would cease the occupation if Rexburg were to pay aproximately 200 gold in repairs and damages. However, Rexburg weren't able to pay the sum, as it exceded the total amount of gold in the town's bank by an extreme amount. Whether Cascadia were aware of this fact could very well be a possibility, as the town's bank was public information, but the fact is still up for debate, as Cascadia may have also proposed a default lot of gold which they would've asked for in any other case with any other town.

Upon hearing Cascadia's demands, and realizing Rexburg's inability to capitulate to said demands, Antxasil promptly insulted the Cascadians, telling them to "eat my shit". Although the townmembers in Rexburg supported Antxasil's response to what they deemed unreasonable demands, his response did, however, escalate tensions further as Cascadia would continue their occupation of Rexburg, and seek retribution for what they deemed as an impulse, and immature response.

Pissist response

The occupation continued, this time with a change in leadership; EstiQT had passed the role of administration of the occupation to OriginalDogster, who suppressed resistance within the town even more than before. Oftentimes, Cascadians would also steal artifacts from the cities and funnel them away.

Santacruiser, a Pissist pissionary from Svalbard, hearing of the melancholic conflict, arrived at the city and wished to spread his religion. He constructed the St. Scorpionzzx Church of Pissism outside the city. Although Santacruiser was a pacifist, and wished to remain neutral in the conflict in order to spread the good word, he was forced to remain mostly within the Cascadian zone of occupation, as the Cascadians offered protection to visitors, and he feared that otherwise he would be attacked by a Rexburger and confused with a PvPer. Santacruiser also constructed several "Pee Pee" structures around the Cascadian zone, Pissist buildings said to grant protection to those who pray to their deity, The Ball God.

St. Scorpionzzx Church of Pissism, built during the siege

However, there was a tragic miscommunication with the townmembers of Rexburg, who thought that the Pee Pee structures were weapons of griefing, and not the usherers of peace they actually are. As a result, Santacruiser had also been given the same status any Cascadian had in Rexburg, and he had to retreat. Instead of listening to Santacruiser's prophecies, Antxasil organized several suicide bombings of the church, which resulted in the destruction of the St. Scorpionzzx Church.

The Church after the second suicide bombing

The whole of the Pissist community turned their attention to Rexburg, their new enemy whom must be converted. Cascadia became aware of the possibility of victory after this event, as a large swath of nations who were formerly neutral in the conflict were of the religion of Pissism, (such as Acadia or Québec) and with their support, Cascadia concieved a thought of winning their battle. This war was now a religious one; a crusade. Santacruiser, now allies with Dogster and Oilerator, the Cascadian Governor of Haida, feigned a retreat in order to catch a few members of Rexburg off guard, but the lone members of Rexburg instead claimhid. The offensive was called off for the night.

Neutral Observer Corps Mission

The Neutral Observer Corps, or NOC, is a sector of the Alberta Defense Force, or ADF, enacting an ongoing operation in the Wyoming area where Rexburg resides. The NOC pleads that "other participants are welcome to participate in the NOC regardless of nationality", enhancing their diversity and firepower at the same time. Alberta was originally a participant in the international occupation of Rexburg with 32Oreo, the former Governor of Athabasca, being present during the blockade, but following the escalation brought forth by Rexburg, it revised its operation to a strictly neutral role observing the conflict for wrongdoing by both sides, similar to what Santacruiser's mission had been before the miscommunication, with the exception that Santacruiser wished to end the conflict with the power of Pissism, while the NOC monitors the battle for violations of our most basic human rights. To gain a bird's eye view of the battles while not participating in them, The NOC established small observation posts outside of Rexburg by the end of the fifth of December.