Pissism
Pissism is a monotheistic religion created by Dabs_All_OvarYT on June 19th, 2019 worshipping The Ball God. Its followers, known as Pissists, worship The Ball God, an all powerfull being, and they believe that, in order to spread his protection, they must place structures known as Pee Pees around the world. Pissism is the official religion of several nations, the most prominent one being Avalon. The religious head of Pissism is The Poop.Template:Religion Template v2.1Pissism's date of creation is unclear, but it is assumed that the creation of this wiki page by Dabs_All_OvarYT marks the beggining of the religion. In the Pissism Bible, an extensive history is described for the beggining of time.
Pissism has had a mostly unknown history, even to those that are Pissist. To document the history of the religion, Dabs_All_OvarYT released a short film documentary of the History of Pissism promptly named "Pissism, our Joke Minecraft Server Religion" under the studio 20th Century Faux, a subsidiary of Faux News. It was released on March 23nd, 2020 and features both appearances from Dabs but also Riley_McDonut under his Youtube alias, 'I am E'. Even though Kush wasn't mentioned in the video due to the film production starting before Kush's creation, it did get a small shoutout in the closure of the film. The video became immensely popular and received much positive attention in a short amount of time, and even got to the point where the Beeists tried to raid Avalon due to being denounced in the documentary. However, the newfound attention that Pissism was getting from the documentary would push not only Pissism, but EarthMC religions in general into the mainstream, causing some good and some bad.
Minor Religions, Kush's Birthday and Pissism goes Corporate
With Pissism's newfound attention from the documentary, many people wanting the same level of fame, and new religions started popping up in the server. Some examples are Witherism and Lakeism. Many of them stated strange reasons at how their religion is not against Pissism. Such as in Witherism, where the Witherists claimed that, when you flip a wither over, it looks like a PP with 3 scrotums. This may have been an excuse to not suffer a crusade by the Pissists.
This also leads to a user by the name of xRonald_Reaganx making outrageous claims about Pissism in chat., such as stating how it's a cult and it's not ethical. However, he then revealed publicly that he would be making a Protestant sect of Pissism to quote-on-quote "Fix your mistakes". This angered the general Pissist public, and the Sex Army teleported to Ronaldo's nation, Imperial_Canada and began and intense crusade all across his nation. Afterwards, Ronald started to be a lot more quiet about Protestant Pissism, probably due to the crusade. It was also around this time that the Pissism Crusades of the Sex Army became less frequent, but more tactical. Members began buying Embassy plots in other towns in order to build Pissism Churches and spread the religion.
A month later, Remcoms, a Shite of Pissism. Purchases the nation of Kaska; the Birthplace of Beeism from Beeist Founder RedY0shi for 500 Gold. He then made Pissism the national religion of Kaska, but to appease to the locals he makes Beeism and Pissism joint religions in the area. This important moment in Pissist history would forever hamper Beeism's expansion efforts, as the Pissists had owned them now.
On April 20th, 2020. Also known as the "Hundred-year Weed Day". A crusade on the ruins of Pissist Kush was set up. As by the time 4/20/20 had struck, Kush's accidental removal had turned one month old. St. Dabs_All_OvarYT of Pee_Pee_Island, St. Remcoms of Kaska, Flame 51 of St. Pierre, and Captainpatakis of Kheta would attend the legendary crusade.
Due to the closest nation to Kush's ruins being closed, They had to trek long and hard all the way from /n spawn Israel, through the red sea and through a canal to reach the coming of the four waters that Kush's former capital Pissistan was located on. Due to rules regarding accidentally erased towns and if they can be griefed or not, Pissist Kush was a safehaven for any Pee Pees placed down, and so the Pissists took full advantage of that. With the former town owner's permission, the crusaders were allowed to place as many PPs as they pleased, thus forming the densest single area of Pee Pees in the entire world, with a mean average of 1 Pee Pee every 12 blocks walked near the outskirts and as close as 1 Pee Pee every 7 blocks near the middle! Along with that, Pissist Kush holds the record for the most different species of PPs in a single area, this includes the normal species, giant PPs, floating PPs, planking PPs, chest PPs, tower PPs, bridge PPs, TNT PPs, and many many more. Once the crusaders had acomplished a notable amount of Pee Pee creation, Dabs crowned himself Sultan Dabs All Ovar of the Kushites and proclaimed that "we should crusade here again, it was fun" (albeit his new surname was exclusive to the continent of Africa). However, sadly after a half-hour of Pee Pee birthing sessions, the crusaders were attacked by a dedicated griefer and had to flee. However, Flame51 was not part of a town and just kept respawning 10 blocks away. The griefer had tried to remove some of the Pee Pees however this is haram and against the Ball God and also within the territory of Kush, so the Pee Pees returned to Kush just like the dolphins to Italy. A video on the event would be uploaded by Remcoms to his youtube channel a few hours later. It would be only 10 seconds off from the epic weed number duration and stand at 4 minutes and 10 seconds long.
The reclaiming of Kush and resignment of the Ball God
On April 27th, a post on Reddit by u/dabsallovar announced that Pissism Kush was reclaimed and reinstated by the mods. Poop Ihrs claimed that the Palace of the Pee Pee would be built to honor the Ball God, which never was built. Unfortunately, Kush would fall again because of inactivity.
On April 30th 2020, a major event on Pissism's history happened. WeebyDeeby, the Ball God, resigned from his position as deity. He gave his power to Dabs, who have this position to Poop Ihrs. This was all caused because the Canadian Union turned partially Islamic.
The Second Avalon Anniversary
On June 13th, 2021, Avalon officially turned 2 years old! In honour of this, a celebration was planned for the following wednesday. On Wednesday, June 16th, the event was to kick off. Many early birds turned the voice chat before the scheduled time, but when that time hit, everyone was waiting for MattyG2012, who was to give a speech and was also running late. While waiting, they broke their record of Avalon Balls in a voice chat from last year! After over a half-hour of waiting, Matty finally joined the voice chat, and the speech was kicked off. Matty gave a beautiful speech about Avalon, and many other members were invited to the speech as well, such as Dabs, Tobo, Morgini (female), and even Spiffles!
Once the speeches were over, a crusade was to take place. It was decided that two crusades could be done that night, the first being against the nation of Algeria. As algeria wasn't allied at the time and therefore members couldn't teleport to Algeria, they had to teleport to the nearby nation of Moroccan_Kingdom. As many as 10 Pissists joined in on the crusade, leaving Pee Pees between Moroccan_Kingdom and Algeria, before finally making their way to Algeria's capital and beginning one of the largest-scale Pissism Crusades that EarthMC had ever seen! Many Pee Pees were made, and many friends were made too.
The second crusade of the night would happen shortly after, and it would be a reenactment of the legendary Inuvik Crusade from the previous year! Everyone teleported to Slave_lake and began heading north to the old wrecked site of Holman, the late Inuvik's former Capital. Some participating from Acadia weren't allied with Slave_Lake, and had to teleport to other spawns instead. On the way there, many of the participating Pissists regrouped at an unclaimed Japanese-Inspired town, which was shortly crusaded upon while waiting. Once everyone was together again, they began a long walk to the old site of Holman. The place where the famous Trojan Cock used to lay left unsnowed, and thus made it easy to rebuild. Whilst rebuilding, Nethermite13 ran out of pink wool, and thus had to use netherrack for part of the tip, giving off the appearance of a burnt Pee Pee. The group took a picture beneath it.
Afterwards, they set out to Holman's residential district. The hill that the selfie from the 2020 Inuvik Crusade had been left intact, so everyone decided to reshoot the photo. It came out brilliantly. Afterwards, the group got to do something they never had the opportunity for the last time they crusaded Holman; crusading the residential district! As it was claimed last time, but unclaimed now! They placed as many Pee Pees as they could, even a member of Cascadia; Coolcon came to place more Pee Pee structures! After the events which took place, everyone went to play Jackbox, and the event was over. It was both an amazing series of crusades, and a great second year Anniversary for Avalon.
Writing of the Pissism Bible
On October 4th, 2021, the first version of the Pissism Bible was completed by Matthi3000_, after he wanted to create one because of the confusing lore of Pissism. The Bible was first put on display on EMC on the Haybird Pit, in Saint John, Acadia.
Beliefs
Pissists believe that the Pee Pees are a holy symbol and should be placed literally everywhere. Pissists believe they keep everyone safe and spread the Ball God's protection. If Pee Pees are destroyed, Pissists will often be provoked and place them again.
Pissists will often say "May the Pee Pee be with you!" or the less popular "May the Ball God have his eyes on you!" instead of common sayings like "Good luck", keep this in mind while being a Pissist.
Pissists have a sacred rule where because they need as many pee pee structures active as possible, they cannot eat any foods that resemble pee pees, such as Carrots and Beetroot. Although it is okay to sell to non-Pissists. Anything dyed in white or yellow is sacred, because they come out of pee pees. Although it is okay to sell them, many buildings are encouraged to be made out of white/yellow concrete, end stone, or quartz.
When a fellow Pissist dies in battle, other Pissists will commemorate his service by pissing on his/her dead body and building a pee pee-shaped gravestone for him/her, with a sign marked with his username.
Pissism is a cascading religion, meaning that even if someone if not aware of it and joins a pissist town or nation and does not renounce the religion, it carries with them to whatever town or nation they may join or found.
Pee Pees aren't griefing, and aren't to be treated as griefing either. Pee Pees are supposed to be intrigued at not mildly annoyed. As so, you can't overdo Pee Pee Placement nor make or destroy a Pee Pee as a non-Pissist.
Predominantly Pissist towns and nations.
- All towns within the nation of Avalon
- All towns within the nation of Slave
- All towns within the nation of Kush (Holyland of Pissism)
- All towns within the nation of South_Canada
- All towns within the nation of Greater_Armenia
- All towns within the nation of Kaska
- All towns within the nation of Canada (won religious war against Canada)
- All towns within the nation of Michigan (president used to be part of Avalon)
- All towns within the nation of USA (nation leader used to be part of Avalon)
- HentaiHaven (Imperial Japan, settled by Avalon settlers)
- Ketapang (Demak, settled by Avalon settlers)
- Puerto_Rico (Puerto_Rico, adopted religion)
- Zinder (Niger, settled by Avalon settlers)
- Obamapolis (Poland, adopted religion)
- Ostrava (Czechoslovakia, settled by Avalon settlers)
- Pee_Pee_Byen (Svalbard)
- All towns
How can I convert to Pissism?
It comes in multiple steps, some easier than others. We've made it simple to remember to convert, just remember this acronym!
- Denounce your current (in-game lol) religion publicly so all know. You can skip this step if you are irreligious or didn't know religion can be a thing in a block game.
- Ingrain your new belief by building a Pee Pee anywhere in the world. Can be next to your home or in the other side of the world. Do it tomorrow or even spice it up a bit by building another added PP every day that goes by. Take screenshots of them too, Make it a habit!
- Convince someone high in Pissism that by doing placing Pee Pees, you should join the religion. Ask a Shite, Poop or even the Ball God himself. Although he may be busy with Butholba's Witnesses. Show them the screenshots of the PPs you have built.
- Know your responsibilities, As a newly reformed Pissist. You have a alot of responsibilities to deal with. Check by PPs youve placed to make sure they are still there. If you want, participate in crusades against the unholy. Have fun!
So if you ever find somebody that wants to convert, just remember you have your D.I.C.K. to help you!
How do i leave Pissism for another religion?
Pissism Ranks
Here ye lies a tier list of important roles and titles in the Pissist Faith, we shall start at the bottom.
- Regular Pissist: Commonfolk. Cool because they worship Ball God but have little religious power
- Shite (St.): Shites are the equivalent of Saints in the real world. They are Pissist individuals who have committed an array of good deeds to their faith that they have been accepted by the Ballgod himself as a religious leader. Examples of Shites include St. Dabs_All_OvarYT of Pee_Pee_Island, who had constructed the first PP ever after seeing the Ball God in a dream. And St. Riley_McDonut of Dildo who constructed the largest PP ever, named the Dildo's Dildo in his same town named Dildo after having a similiar event to Dabs.
- Patron Shite (Pt. St.): Patron Shites are still a rank in development. They would work like real life Patron saints, being advocates for activities, crafts, places, nations, group, person, etc.
- Holy Scribe: Holy Scribes are people who have the permission of altering the Pissism Bible.
- Poop (Pp.) The Poop is the equivalent of the Pope in the real world. There can only be one at a time in the same server and, before one departs, he must appoint an heir. The Poop has the most religious power of any one player individual and stands second only to the Ball God himself. They are often very obsessed with Pissism to the point where it as consumed their life. The current Poop in the sever is Poop MattyG2012.
List of Poops through time
| Poop | Duration | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Megablocklyng (Ihrs) | September-October 2019 - April 30th 2020 (around 200 days) | Megablocklyng was the first Poop, after he built several churches. He would go on to become the Ball God himself and create Kush. |
| Dabs_All_OvarYT | April 30th 2020 - April 31th 2020 (1 day) | Dabs All Ovar was the shortest lived Poop in history, lasting only one day. He seemed to be the most fitting person to be the Poop, as he was one of the two people to see the Ball God in a vision. |
| MattyG2012 | April 31st 2020 - Present day | MattyG2012 is the current Poop and leader of Dildo. He hasn't done much during his time as Poop. |
List of Shites through time
All Poops are Shites.
| Shite | Notes |
|---|---|
| Riley_McDonut of Dildo | Shite Riley_McDonut was the second and last only individual to glance upon the ball god. He originally did not like Dabs's town encroaching upon his borders and if not persuaded by the ball god might have spelt the end of Pissism. His contruction of the Dildo's Dildo along with making Pissism the national religion of the nation of Avalon earned him the right to enter as a Shite of Pissism. |
| SaltedSuris of Labrador | SaltedSuris is the only Shite in Labrador. Shited by MattyG2012, SaltedSuris tried to convert the nation of Croatia but failed, yet proved to be devout. SaltedSuris made the lands of Labrador legitimate Pissist land by converting residents in Labrador to Pissism. After garfield_mc left Domino, Salted repurposed garfield_mc's church to the church of St. Nethermite13.
|
| Scorpionzzx of Rennes | Similiar to Riley, Scorpionzzx did not at first like this one nation doing well south of his, and schemed to create a rival religion to take out Pissism. He adopted Bruhism and this kicks off many crusades against Quebec (Now Canada). After alot of crusadering he proposed a deal to the Pissism Council. He would convert himself and the rest of Quebec to Pissism if all Pissists were to vote for him in an upcoming election. Since politics are pointless the Pissists accepted the deal and Scorpion converted. He even built the largest standing Pissism church by chunks in the server. This along with his eagerness to spread Pissism after the crusades earned him the right to enter as a Shite of Pissism. |
| ToboCoolMan2000 of Pee Pee Island | Similiar to matt, Shite ToboCoolMan2000 is MattyG2012's brother, and also helped with infrastructure and stuff. Also assisted with the first recorded crusade as he attended much of the crusade. |
| Remcoms of Kaska | Shite Remcoms had lived in Avalon and Slave in his past-time. He encouraged people to convert to pissism and has been on a few pee pee crusades like the one near Gasepeise where he placed some pee pees outside of its capital, and on the highly notable Kushite Birthday Crusade. He currently owns Kaska, a former Beeist stronghold, and he also has a church in Maluku which coincidentally the king of Maluku is Remcodd. |
| Afaukiz of Svalbard | He founded the Svalbardic Pissist church, and after approval from the Ballgod, became a Shite. He is a devoted Pissist, having been one since he joined the server. |
| NetherMite13 of Acadia | |
| Colt_44_Magnum of Belgium | |
| Matthi3000_ of Avalon | Matthi3000_ is the newest Shite to be added. He wrote the Pissism Bible and is highly active on Discord. |
List of Known Pissists
This is a list of popular Pissists on EarthMC.
- WIP
How to become a Shite or Poop
To become a Shite, someone must have done some important array of tasks and have been approved by the Current Poop. If a Shite does anything out of line with Pissism however, the Poop can redact him from whatever Shitery.
To get ordained as a Poop is mostly impossible. As there can only be one per server, only a few select individuals will ever be a Poop in the server's lifespan. So pucker up to the current Poop and May the Pee Pee be with you!
Ancient Avalonese in Pissism
Ancient Avalonese, informally known as Pissism Runes, is the language used in Old Testament-age Pissism relics and for quotes in Pissism Churches. The language is a precursor for the modern day Avalonese and Anglicized Avalonese. The runes are not from the roman alphabet and show the possible birthplace of Pissism, which may have been from east Africa. They are often called Pissism Runes by those who are not familiar with Pissism. Many high-ranking officials such as Shites or the Poop can read Ancient Avalonese, and it is a requirement for a Poop to both read and speak it fluently. Think of it as the Latin of Pissism; pointless unless you are religious.
For some strange reason, Google Translate places Ancient Avalonese as "Amharic", truly bizarre.
Butholba's Witnesses
Butholba's Witnesses are individuals that have falsely or ongoingly claim to have seen the Ball God or have had visions of seeing the Ball God. These accusations are often done for clout or by those who failed the entry test for Shites and still want to get in. Luckily, these claims are often debunked by asking the Ball God himself over Discord. They are called Butholba's Witnesses because a Buthol is an Ancient Avalonese term for a false prophet. And the -ba suffix implies that it is a person's name or identity. Therefore identifying the person who made these wacky claims makes the individual a liar of great magnitudes.
Lists of Pissism Churches
Main page: List of Pissist churches
| Image | Name | Date of creation
(yyyy/mm/dd) |
Creator | Height | Location & Coordinates | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
 |
Balls Cathedral | 2021/8/18 | Remis | 31 | Vietnam, Indochina | |
 |
St. Dabs_All_Ovar of Pee Pee Island Pissism Church | 2020/1/16 | Fortuyn | 65 | Pee Pee Island, Avalon | |
 |
St. MattyG2012 Pissism Church | 2020/3/26 | ? | 20 | Saint John, Acadia | The church underwent major remodelation on April 29th, 2020. |
Screenshots of Pee Pees around the world
To anyone who may find themselves upon a terribly wonderful or masterfully legendary Pee Pee, please post the image in this section with the caption of the location, date, or any other info.
LE2CASSETOUTcity, Greenland
finishing up a Pissism Crusade with the Sex Army in Northwestern Canada
Avalon's Hawaii Embassy, In Honolulu
Morgini and Matty beside a Pee Pee in the new 1.16 Nether
Furnace PP, in Western New Guinea
The massive crusade in Algeria during Avalon's 2 year Anniversary.
Pee Pees placed by Matthi3000_ on an abandoned castle near Gallegos, Patagonia.
