The Inuvik Crusades

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This page is similar to another, you may be looking for The First Inuvik Crusade, or perhaps The Second Inuvik Crusade or The Pissmas Crusade.

The Inuvik Crusades were a historic series of Pissism Crusades aimed against the capital of Inuvik, Holman. Provoked after the leader of Inuvik, Tyce began to unwarrantably attack players on the east coast and members of the Maritime East Coast Alliance (M.E.C.A.), who then sought the assistance of The Sex Army, an extremist Pissist religious group, in retaliating against Tyce's attacks. The result of these talks culminated in The First Inuvik Crusade, a massive Pissism Crusade that lead to the downfall of Inuvik.

A set of historic photographs from the Inuvik Crusades. The Top is from the First Inuvik Crusade, and the Bottom is from the Second

Although Inuvik is no longer a nation, the crusade is commemorated each year in reenactments of The First Inuvik Crusade, such as The Second Inuvik Crusade, which was celebrated and reenacted during the nation of Avalon's second anniversary. Template:Battle templateToday, many have come to terms with Tyce, and The Inuvik Crusades have become a Massive Cultural Holiday in Pissist culture, completely unrelated from Tyce anymore. It is said that every Pissist at one point in their career must take the trek to Inuvik and place a Pee Pee structure themselves.



The First Inuvik Crusade

During the months leading up to the crusade, the leader of the nation of Inuvik, Tyce, started using a nation spawn by the name of Vinland in Eastern Canada in order to unwarrantably attack players. Once these attacks became known and The Maritime East Coast Alliance (M.E.C.A.) started realizing that Tyce was abusing the nation spawn of Vinland, a member nation of their own alliance, a consensus was met to have Bene, the leader of Vinland, close their nation spawn. However, Tyce then began using a different nation spawn, one unassociated by MECA, to attack MECA members. Those in MECA were becoming increasingly distraught with Tyce's unprovoked attacks. A majority of the nations in MECA proclaim the religion of Pissism, meaning that Tyce was committing acts of arson upon peaceful Pissists. The member nations of MECA decided that they must take matters into their own hands. MECA contacted an extremist Pissist faction by the name of The Sex Army for assistance against the attacks of Tyce. The Sex Army accepted their invitation, tired of Tyce's activities too. M.E.C.A., The Sex Army, and all member nations within MECA began talks, and the result of these talks would culminate in a plan. The plan to declare Holy War against the nation of Inuvik and enact a Pissism Crusade upon the capital, Holman.

This pensive plot would go into effect on March 24th, 2020, as soldiers in The Sex Army and members of MECA teleported to the Avalon-controlled nation of Slave, which was positioned south of Inuvik. The crusaders began their quest, as they took upon the long trek from northern Alberta to Victoria Island, where Inuvik was positioned. Boats were used to cross rivers, and boots were used to cross land. Strangely however, almost by the sheer will of the Ball God, there had been a new player positioned midway through the crusader's trek, as a joke, one of the crusaders invited the new player to the crusade, and he accepted! His name would be known as Jacob8858, and he would be honoured as a Legendary Crusader and Noble Gentleman for years to come. Some theories have even proposed that he was the Ball God himself in material form.

The Trojan Cock from a distance


At last, The Crusaders had reached Inuvik. And once they reached Holman, they began to crusade the town; surrounding it with Pee-Pees, and placing particularly large ones on the hillsides. Once all were placed, the crusaders teamed up to place the final Pee Pee, a legendary structure to rival anything; The Trojan Cock. Owing to its name, a crusader by the name of Tree AKA AkumaCat hid in The Trojan Cock for 10 hours waiting to ambush Tyce, but sadly he would never log on. The First Inuvik Crusade would be deemed a huge success, and after a quick lunch break and photo op, the crusaders left the town and went their own ways.

In the two weeks following The First Inuvik Crusade, Tyce would grow more agitated as he would ramp up attacks on M.E.C.A. members in the area. Once those in M.E.C.A. refused to pay his 45G ransom, he attacked the neighboring town of Boston, killing residents there, and purchasing embassies and blowing up plots. Tyce was banned for a week. As a result of Tyce's attacks, On April 14th, 2020, Bidav dissolved relations with the M.E.C.A. towns in his nation, and kicked them from America. The towns that were kicked would join the nation of Avalon, and later form their own nation called Acadia. In fact, many have theorized that if Tyce hadn't stubbornly attacked those towns, Acadia would never had been made, as those towns may still have been in America to this day.

The Second Inuvik Crusade

Over a year had passed since The First Inuvik Crusade, in that time, the crusade had cemented itself within the cultural consciousness of nearly every resident of M.E.C.A., and also of nearly every Pissist. On June 13th, 2021, during the nation of Avalon's second anniversary, after a similar crusade on Algeria, a player known as Nethermite13 suggested that they commit a reenactment of The First Inuvik Crusade. The second crusade of the night would happen shortly after, and it would be a reenactment of the legendary Inuvik Crusade from the previous year!

Everyone teleported to the new nation of Slave_lake, similar to before, and began heading north to the old wrecked site of Holman, the now-fallen nation of Inuvik's former Capital. Some Acadians participating weren't allied with Slave_Lake, and had to teleport to other spawns instead. On the way there, many of the participating Pissists regrouped at an unclaimed Japanese-Inspired town, which was shortly crusaded upon while waiting. Once everyone was together again, they began a long walk to the old site of Holman. The place where the famous Trojan Cock used to lay left un-snowed, and thus made it easy to rebuild. Whilst rebuilding, Nethermite13 ran out of pink wool, and thus had to use netherrack for part of the tip, giving off the appearance of a burnt Pee Pee. The group took a picture beneath it.

Holman after the crusade

Afterwards, they set out to Holman's residential district. The hill that the selfie from the 2020 Inuvik Crusade had been left intact, so everyone decided to reshoot the photo. It came out brilliantly. Afterwards, the group got to do something they never had the opportunity for the last time they crusaded Holman; crusading the residential district! As it was claimed last time, but unclaimed now! They placed as many Pee Pees as they could, even a member of Cascadia; Coolcon came to place more Pee Pee structures! After the events which took place, everyone went to play Jackbox, and the event was over. It was both an amazing series of crusades, and a great second year Anniversary for Avalon!

The Pissmas Crusade

The Trojan Cock, covered with leaves and ornaments
The group photo taken at the sacred Inuvik Hill, the site of the The First Inuvik Crusade

Pissists, for a long time, had been without a holy day, the closest thing was the annual anniversary of the nation of Avalon, which was often accompanied by a Pissism Crusade, but Pissism had no holiday outside of politics within a nation. That is, until December 23rd, 2021, where a handful of high-ranking Pissists including Poop MattyG2012 decided to celebrate Pissmas, which was to occur every 23rd of December to spite Christmas. The holiday would coincide with a Pissmas Crusade to the ruins of Holman, Inuvik, and this year was no different, with over seven Pissists joining in the crusade. More Pee-Pees were added to the already sprawling corpse of Inuvik. Nethermite13 added leaves to the Trojan Cock, and allowed other crusaders to place ornaments on it. Once it was complete, it was quite the sight to behold, and everyone came through for a group photo.


The Third Inuvik Crusade...?

The Third Inuvik Crusade is a speculated third edition of the original crusade. It is slated to take place on either March 24th, 2022 to honour the original crusade, or June 13th, 2022 to honour Avalon's probable third anniversary. Some have even suggested new dates, such as Acadia's anniversary or Quebec's, but all is extremely vague and speculatory as the crusade has yet to even be nearing to occur.