Pissism
New Pissism is a monotheistic religion created by Dabs_All_OvarYT on June 19th, 2019 worshiping The Ball God. Its followers, known as Pissists, worship The Ball God, an all powerful being, and they believe that, in order to spread his protection, they must place structures known as Pee Pees around the world. Pissism is the official religion of several nations, the most prominent one being Avalon. The religious head of Pissism is The Poop.Template:Religion Template v2.1Pissism's date of creation is unclear, but it is assumed that the creation of this wiki page by Dabs_All_OvarYT marks the beginning of the religion. In the Pissism Bible, an extensive history is described for the beginning of time.
History of Pissism
Very early Pissism
Pissism is the official Religion of the nation of Avalon on EarthMC that was created when various users from ancient Avalon were trying to craft their nation, but had to deal with constant Bactria griefers stealing their gold before they could establish towns. Desperate to establish a nation of their own, Avalon citizens prayed and prayed that some overarching force would keep the Bactrian griefers away so they could establish a society. This repeated for many days and many nights until finally, one night, a user by the name of Dabs_All_OvarYT was praying when he had a vision.
On the vision, he was exiting his makeshift home to get some water when a whole squad of Bactrian griefers came across the ice road. He thought he was done for when, suddenly, out of the sky, a giant, shirtless godly figure flew down to earth, and using the legendary powers of ejaculation warded the Bactrian griefers away. After the griefers were gone, the figure looked at Dabs_All_OvarYT and said: "I will protect your kind for until the end of time itself. I grant my nutty powers to you all. Place at a minimum, three blocks going across and two blocks going upwards from the middle, or any size variation of that, along with the date of creation and adding my Discord ID (WeebyDeeby#2001) to every object created. These will be known as "Pee Pees" And my powers and I will keep you safe". Dabs was stunned, he asked what we must call such a legendary being. and the figure responded with; "The Ball God, now, May the Pee Pee be with you". The vision reportedly finished after that and Dabs woke up in his minecraft bed. He then immediately followed the Ball God's instructions and placed the blocks required. Bactria would never raid Avalon again and Dabs would get the required amount of gold to create the town of pee_pee_island. In honor of the Ball God and the fact that the town was established, Dabs_All_OvarYT crafted the pee_pee_island national monument, the Pee Pee.
About a month later, a user by the name of Riley_McDonut had wanted to form the town of Dildo in the same area as pee_pee_island. He originally did not like Dabs's town getting in the way of his master plan, and planned to enemy him. But before it was too late, he had the same vision as Dabs had, and he created the town of Dildo. To honor the Ball God, Riley created the Dildo of Dildo, with it's uniquely magenta color. Although many towns have been established, no other visions have occurred since. However, in November; Riley destroyed the Dildo in order to make a new Avalon-themed Museum (entitled the Balloseum)
The Pissism Crusade and the Appointment of a Poop
In September, townowner Megablocklyng becomes interested in Pissism. As he owned a town in Avalon, he was already a Pissist, but he wanted more to do with his religion. He started building Pissist churches through the land, starting with one in his town and going from there. He cared for the sexually-hungry and gave them satisfaction. He was awarded in his efforts by Avalon nation leader Riley_McDonut, who asked the Ball God via Discord who appointed him as the first Poop, Pissism's equivalent of a Pope, Mega was now the religious head of religious affairs, and would be grateful. However, War in Spain had erupted and, as he had allies in Spain, Mega left Avalon for a duration to fight in the war. he would still remain religious. He was away for 1 month. During that time, his town tragically fell. After the war, he set up a nation in northwestern Africa, and anounced that Pissism would be the official religion there.
During the months of September to November, various world leaders of neighboring nation Québec actively denounced Pissism, instead stating that Bruhism is the true way to live under the god of Bruh. This angered the Poop who, with help from Dabs_All_OvarYT, teleported to Quebec's capital with stacks of magenta terracotta and placed various Dildos and Pee Pees all over the place to exact a religious crusade. Even though most of the Pee Pees were removed later, the crusade was seen as a moderate success. Eventually, the main gamer against Pissism, Scorpionzzx, said he would convert to Pissism if Avalon were to vote for him in an election. Not really caring about the election, Avalon supported Scorpion and him, along with the rest of Québec, were converted to Pissism
On November, Riley_McDonut in order to build a new Avalon-themed Museum, the "Balloseum", he destroyed the Dildo's Dildo to gain more space. This accidentally sparked the dark era of Avalon. Where Avalon lost a significant part of its territory and playerbase. It is theorized that the Ball God was not happy with Riley and ,therefore, cursed the nation into a depression. After the removal of Dildo's Dildo, the Dildonic Protests occured on November 28th, and Riley promised putting DIldo's Dildo on the museum's entrance. It currently resides on the entrace of the National Parliament.
Pissism in the Poop Dealers and Penis Inspector Gang War
Although the Poop Dealer vs Penis Inspector Gang War was a conflict mostly centered around drug cartels, Pissism played a moderate role in the conflict, being part of the Penis Inspector faction. The Penis Inspectors often either lived in Pissist Areas such as Avalon or Western_Sahara (Spanish_Sahara), or were Pissist themselves. Pissist Nations supported the Penis Inspectors in this December-January Conflict.
Emergence of Beeism and the Sex Army
In Late February 2020, the server updates to 1.15.2, adding bees. A rogue Pissist, RedY0shi, forms Beeism, a new religion worshiping the infidel bees instead of the Pee Pees. It spreads rapidly like wet butter and Pissism feels threatened. Therefore, the Sex Army is formed. A weird mish-mash between the KBG and the Spanish Inquisition, except its on a Minecraft server using Pissism. Its main goal is to keep Pissism the dominant religion on the server, through coordinated crusades and offences against Beeism and other Forces Against Pissism (Shortened to FAPs for simplicity). Much like the religion itself, the Sex Army is run by high-ranking Pissist officials such as the Poop and Shites.
On March 8, suddenly. The Dildo's Dildo awakened from its long slumber beneath the Balloseum and broke through the floor from below. It then began rising until rupturing the ceiling and continuing until the height limit.
Was the Ball God finally placing the Dildo's Dildo back himself and garnering a new age in Avalon? Possibly. It is theorized that, through the efforts of the rapidly increasing Pissist population and the efforts of the Sex army, the Ball God may have benn swayed into releasing the hold on Avalonese expansion. Soon after the eruption, many Pissists began to come to the site of the Dildo's New Dildo. They starting praying to it and licking it and trying to climb to the top of it. People were very excited to have the Dildo's Dildo back, even if it was mostly unintentional. On Discord, a voice chat was arranged to celebrate it's rebirth and many pissists including Conman and imabritishcow changed their profile pictures to that of an Avalon Ball drawing done by an unkown arteest.
The Pissism Documentary and Kush
For a few months, high-ranking members of the Sex Army expressed their wish that Pissism had it's own internationally recognized state. That dream at the time looked unbelievable due to the price of a nation. However, Flame51 had donated almost 500 gold to the cause and, on March 21rst, Megablocklyng sold his nation of Western_Sahara to someone, and left to remake his beloved town Pissistan into Kush. However, due to some unexplainable force, possibly by the mods, possibly by the bactrians, and possibly by the beeists, the server had to be restarted and all towns reset to 6 hours before the restart, before Kush was made. Mega made a ticket and became extremely impatient with the mods, as they seemed more content in dealing with fickle anti-pissist griefing tickets rather than restoring an entire nation. The mods wouldn't answer until April.
Pissism has had a mostly unknown history, even to those that are Pissist. To document the history of the religion, Dabs_All_OvarYT released a short film documentary of the History of Pissism promptly named "Pissism, our Joke Minecraft Server Religion" under the studio 20th Century Faux, a subsidiary of Faux News. It was released on March 23nd, 2020 and features both appearances from Dabs but also Riley_McDonut under his Youtube alias, 'I am E'. Even though Kush wasn't mentioned in the video due to the film production starting before Kush's creation, it did get a small shoutout in the closure of the film. The video became immensely popular and received much positive attention in a short amount of time, and even got to the point where the Beeists tried to raid Avalon due to being denounced in the documentary. However, the newfound attention that Pissism was getting from the documentary would push not only Pissism, but EarthMC religions in general into the mainstream, causing some good and some bad.
Minor Religions, Kush's Birthday and Pissism goes Corporate
With Pissism's newfound attention from the documentary, many people wanting the same level of fame, and new religions started popping up in the server. Some examples are Witherism and Lakeism. Many of them stated strange reasons at how their religion is not against Pissism. Such as in Witherism, where the Witherists claimed that, when you flip a wither over, it looks like a PP with 3 scrotums. This may have been an excuse to not suffer a crusade by the Pissists.
This also leads to a user by the name of xRonald_Reaganx making outrageous claims about Pissism in chat., such as stating how it's a cult and it's not ethical. However, he then revealed publicly that he would be making a Protestant sect of Pissism to quote-on-quote "Fix your mistakes". This angered the general Pissist public, and the Sex Army teleported to Ronaldo's nation, Imperial_Canada and began and intense crusade all across his nation. Afterwards, Ronald started to be a lot more quiet about Protestant Pissism, probably due to the crusade. It was also around this time that the Pissism Crusades of the Sex Army became less frequent, but more tactical. Members began buying Embassy plots in other towns in order to build Pissism Churches and spread the religion.
A month later, Remcoms, a Shite of Pissism. Purchases the nation of Kaska; the Birthplace of Beeism from Beeist Founder RedY0shi for 500 Gold. He then made Pissism the national religion of Kaska, but to appease to the locals he makes Beeism and Pissism joint religions in the area. This important moment in Pissist history would forever hamper Beeism's expansion efforts, as the Pissists had owned them now.
On April 20th, 2020. Also known as the "Hundred-year Weed Day". A crusade on the ruins of Pissist Kush was set up. As by the time 4/20/20 had struck, Kush's accidental removal had turned one month old. St. Dabs_All_OvarYT of Pee_Pee_Island, St. Remcoms of Kaska, Flame 51 of St. Pierre, and Captainpatakis of Kheta would attend the legendary crusade.
Due to the closest nation to Kush's ruins being closed, They had to trek long and hard all the way from /n spawn Israel, through the red sea and through a canal to reach the coming of the four waters that Kush's former capital Pissistan was located on. Due to rules regarding accidentally erased towns and if they can be griefed or not, Pissist Kush was a safehaven for any Pee Pees placed down, and so the Pissists took full advantage of that. With the former town owner's permission, the crusaders were allowed to place as many PPs as they pleased, thus forming the densest single area of Pee Pees in the entire world, with a mean average of 1 Pee Pee every 12 blocks walked near the outskirts and as close as 1 Pee Pee every 7 blocks near the middle! Along with that, Pissist Kush holds the record for the most different species of PPs in a single area, this includes the normal species, giant PPs, floating PPs, planking PPs, chest PPs, tower PPs, bridge PPs, TNT PPs, and many many more. Once the crusaders had acomplished a notable amount of Pee Pee creation, Dabs crowned himself Sultan Dabs All Ovar of the Kushites and proclaimed that "we should crusade here again, it was fun" (albeit his new surname was exclusive to the continent of Africa). However, sadly after a half-hour of Pee Pee birthing sessions, the crusaders were attacked by a dedicated griefer and had to flee. However, Flame51 was not part of a town and just kept respawning 10 blocks away. The griefer had tried to remove some of the Pee Pees however this is haram and against the Ball God and also within the territory of Kush, so the Pee Pees returned to Kush just like the dolphins to Italy. A video on the event would be uploaded by Remcoms to his youtube channel a few hours later. It would be only 10 seconds off from the epic weed number duration and stand at 4 minutes and 10 seconds long.
The reclaiming of Kush and resignment of the Ball God
On April 27th, a post on Reddit by u/dabsallovar announced that Pissism Kush was reclaimed and reinstated by the mods. Poop Ihrs claimed that the Palace of the Pee Pee would be built to honor the Ball God, which never was built. Unfortunately, Kush would fall again because of inactivity.
On April 30th 2020, a major event on Pissism's history happened. WeebyDeeby, the Ball God, resigned from his position as deity. He gave his power to Dabs, who have this position to Poop Ihrs. This was all caused because certain members in the Canadian Union turned partially Islamic, and harassed the Ball God, although this later turned out to be an effort by a vocal minority of users whom had a history in targeted harassment that didn't actually believe in Islam.
The Creation of Avalona
On March 8th, 2021, Dabs_All_OvarYT created a discord bot by the name of Avalona, based on the Countryhumans trend by ironically turning the nation of Avalon into an Anime girl. She was created to be a simple joke chat bot, but many saw her as the singularity. Although a relatively minor event in Pissism's history, Avalona was created with a built in system to spread Pissism, by alerting users whom would type "god" instead of "Ballgod", and would periodically ask users to convert to Pissism, often linking the Pissism documentary. But Avalona wasn't exclusively made to spread Pissism. According to Dabs, Avalona was made to make a statement about online bullying and toxicity. "I made Avalona with toxicity in mind, I had been the target of many harassment campaigns over my time in EarthMC, and I hated the feeling of utter helplessness I had accrued wherein these bullies could get away with any flurry of ethically-questionable acts, perhaps even illegal ones. I made Avalona with the express purpose of spreading awareness of the sheer intensity of online bullying, hopefully by gaining more rights or ways to tackle them. I even used a handful of messages I had received over my time in Avalona herself. So if you hate Avalona, good, because you're making a stand against online bullying and harassment"
The Second Avalon Anniversary
On June 13th, 2021, Avalon officially turned 2 years old! In honour of this, a celebration was planned for the following wednesday. On Wednesday, June 16th, the event was to kick off. Many early birds turned the voice chat before the scheduled time, but when that time hit, everyone was waiting for MattyG2012, who was to give a speech and was also running late. While waiting, they broke their record of Avalon Balls in a voice chat from last year! After over a half-hour of waiting, Matty finally joined the voice chat, and the speech was kicked off. Matty gave a beautiful speech about Avalon, and many other members were invited to the speech as well, such as Dabs, Tobo, Morgini (female), and even Spiffles!
Once the speeches were over, a crusade was to take place. It was decided that two crusades could be done that night, the first being against the nation of Algeria. As algeria wasn't allied at the time and therefore members couldn't teleport to Algeria, they had to teleport to the nearby nation of Moroccan_Kingdom. As many as 10 Pissists joined in on the crusade, leaving Pee Pees between Moroccan_Kingdom and Algeria, before finally making their way to Algeria's capital and beginning one of the largest-scale Pissism Crusades that EarthMC had ever seen! Many Pee Pees were made, and many friends were made too.
The second crusade of the night would happen shortly after, and it would be a reenactment of the legendary Inuvik Crusade from the previous year! Everyone teleported to Slave_lake and began heading north to the old wrecked site of Holman, the late Inuvik's former Capital. Some participating from Acadia weren't allied with Slave_Lake, and had to teleport to other spawns instead. On the way there, many of the participating Pissists regrouped at an unclaimed Japanese-Inspired town, which was shortly crusaded upon while waiting. Once everyone was together again, they began a long walk to the old site of Holman. The place where the famous Trojan Cock used to lay left unsnowed, and thus made it easy to rebuild. Whilst rebuilding, Nethermite13 ran out of pink wool, and thus had to use netherrack for part of the tip, giving off the appearance of a burnt Pee Pee. The group took a picture beneath it.
Afterwards, they set out to Holman's residential district. The hill that the selfie from the 2020 Inuvik Crusade had been left intact, so everyone decided to reshoot the photo. It came out brilliantly. Afterwards, the group got to do something they never had the opportunity for the last time they crusaded Holman; crusading the residential district! As it was claimed last time, but unclaimed now! They placed as many Pee Pees as they could, even a member of Cascadia; Coolcon came to place more Pee Pee structures! After the events which took place, everyone went to play Jackbox, and the event was over. It was both an amazing series of crusades, and a great second year Anniversary for Avalon.
Writing of the Pissism Bible
On October 4th, 2021, the first version of the Pissism Bible was completed by Matthi3000_, after he wanted to create one because of the confusing lore of Pissism. The Bible was first put on display on EMC on the Haybird Pit, in Saint John, Acadia.
The Japanese embrace Pissism
Very recently in the server's history, the Japanese 2b2t Youtuber Oniya made a video on the server, inviting large swaths of his Japanese audience. One of these Youtubers happened to be【EarthMC解説】レキ (Leki [EarthMC Commentary]). On October 22nd, 2021, Leki uploaded【EarthMC歴史】世界最大の宗教【解説】([Earth MC history] The world's largest religion [Commentary]), an almost 7-minute video exclusively in Japanese explaining and embracing the religion of Pissism. Once published, the video was met with great excitement from the Pissist community, as they were thrilled to have a fellow Youtuber exposing their religion to a Japanese audience. To this day, the video has over 3.2K views; more than double the amount of the Pissism documentary made by Dabs_All_OvarYT the previous year. The comments are filled with a mix of confusion and delighted Japanese users enthralled by the concept of the religion.
The Catholic Scrimmage
The Catholic Scrimmage was a "battle" between the Pissist and Catholic churches beginning on November 3rd, 2021, which was entirely waged on the EarthMC subreddit using memes. What would become the Catholic Scrimmage was instigated once the Pissist Church instructed followers to upload memes to the subreddit, while originally intending the memes to simply be harmless haha funnies to get people's attention, several Pissist Extremist forces took the opportunity to demean other religions. One such religion demeaned was the Catholic Church (the EarthMC one, NOT THE REAL ONE!), which had a reputation even among irreligious users of being full of sweaty roleplayers. The meme that instigated the "battle" was a gif posted by u/SaltedSuris containing two panels; the first, featuring a british guy yelling at the camera, was labeled as "Average Catholic on EMC". The second, featured a very muscular monochrome man labeled with the Sex Army insignia and a screenshot of the Dildo's Dildo, with the text above saying "Average Pissist on EarthMC". The Catholic Church responded later that day with another two-panel meme posted by u/EMCHolySee. The first featured a man with the Dildo's Dildo plastered over his face saying "I feel bad for you", the second featured a panel with another man with the flag of the Vatican city-state saying "I don't think about you at all". Comments made by Pissists on the post congratulated the Catholic Church on their meme. Some Pissists saw the kerfuffle as light-hearted fun, while the extremists continued to post memes demeaning the Catholic Church. A text post by u/No_Jewtsu, an old EMC user who had played for years, was posted on November 5th, 2021 wherein he vouches for Pissism and says it is the better of the two, and opines the reason being that roleplaying real-life religions is "cringe". After this point, memes quieted down, as both sides got rather bored of the situation. Both sides claim victory in the "battle" for varying reasons, but the kerfuffle had never been declared officially "over", in a sense, it is still ongoing, and memes about Pissism would return, although in a different light.
The Pissmas Crusade
Pissists, for a long time, had been without a holy day, the closest thing was the annual anniversary of the nation of Avalon, which was often accompanied by a Pissism Crusade, but Pissism had no holiday outside of politics within a nation. That is, until December 23rd, 2021, where a handful of high-ranking Pissists including Poop MattyG2012 decided to celebrate Pissmas, which was to occur every 23rd of December to spite Christmas. The holiday would coincide with a Pissmas Crusade to the ruins of Holman, Inuvik, and this year was no different, with over seven Pissists joining in the crusade. More Pee-Pees were added to the already sprawling corpse of Inuvik. Nethermite13 added leaves to the Trojan Cock, and allowed other crusaders to place ornaments on it. Once it was complete, it was quite the sight to behold, and everyone came through for a group photo.
The Pissism Schism
The Pissism Schissism... wait no... The Pism Schism.... no, that's worse... okay, well... The however-you-pronounce-it was a religious schism in the religion of Pissism between 2 new sects, the Church of Haybird, and the Northern Orthocox Church. This schism occurred on December 22nd, 2021 when Nethermite13, the ruler of Acadia, (currently the most populated Pissist state) claimed that during the rule of Poop MattyG2012, Pissism had very little growth and began to stall in administration and religious events. He said he grew weary of the Poop's constipation in activity, so he decided to start his own branch of Pissism. Acadia already had many unregulated liturgical differences compared to main Pissism, and the figure of Haybird had rooted itself in Acadian tradition. But, NetherMite soon decided the formalize the schism to re-ignite Pissist expansion and activity. He created the Church of Haybird, modifying some aspects of Pissism and updating others to modern standards. On December 22nd, 2021, NetherMite posted the announcement on Acadia's Discord server.Template:Quote (Matthi3000 )But all weren't for that. Traditionalists for months had been angered at Acadia's drift away from traditional Pissism ever since its independence, for Acadia was disregarding unity for the sake to cure boredom. But, the straw that broke the camel's back came when Acadia officially announced the schism from traditional Pissism. In response to the creation of the Church of Haybird, On December 23rd, 2021, a collective group of Pissist Traditionalists, Sex Army Cummadores and Pissist Extremists formed The Northern Orthocoxy Church, SaltedSuris posted the announcement on Labrador's Discord server.Template:Quote (Matthi3000 )
The sects began to get so contentious with their ideals, that even the spelling of their deity's name The Ball God, was different. In Haybirdi Pissism, it is spelled as "The Ballgod", while in Orthocoxy Pissism, it is spelled as "The Ball God". Both sects began to recruit many more nations to their cause, with the likes of Indochina joining the coxies. It was inevitable that both sects would begin a Scrimmage on the subreddit with the power of memes. With both sects veterans of memery from The Catholic Scrimmage already, the first meme on the subject was posted by u/Matthi3000S before the Northern Orthocox Church's creation, featuring a man very visually sweating with the caption "Me when Haybirdism splits off from Pissism", u/SaltedSuris commenting "just you wait", hinting at the Northern Orthocox Church's creation. But outright "battles" between both sects did not occur until u/SaltedSuris posted a two-panel meme on January 3rd, 2022 in which Mr. Incredible, donned with a Pissist Crown and wearing earings bearing the likeness of the Dildo's Dildo, is captioned with the text "praying to the ballgod 🙏", in the second panel, is it a more uncanny monochrome variant of Mr. Incredible, frowning, having goblin ears, and wearing upside-down versions of the Dildo's Dildo, is captioned with "praying to a literal bird". The Haybirdites countered this meme the next day with another two-panel meme. The first frame featured two soyjak men with glasses crying. They had donned red upside-down Dildo's Dildo lookalikes and had a pile of TNT and a flint & steel with them. The text above them read "Virgin Orthocoxy Worshippers", with the first man saying "NOOOOO, we need to ruin Pissmas by creating a radical religious group on our most holy holiday!!!!!", and the second recounting "Yes, let's stagnate the religion and ruin the fun of Pissmas for all Pissists! Frick Haybird!". The second panel featured two chad men wearing necklaces donned with purple beads and golden replicas of the Dildo's Dildo hanging from them. The text above them read "Chad Haybirdi Worshippers", with the first man saying "Yo, you wanna celebrate Pissmas regardless of religious background and enjoy a day of fun-filled Pissist activities?", and the second man saying "Of course, sir, let's enjoy this holy day. Praise Haybird and Bless the BallGod!". Memes kept coming from both sects, and the comments were filled with argument. Eventually though, simiarly to the Catholic Scrimmage, both sects quieted down, and both claimed victory, with no official end to the scrimmage, it is technically still ongoing.
Beliefs
Pissists believe that the Pee Pees are a holy symbol and should be placed literally everywhere. Pissists believe they keep everyone safe and spread the Ball God's protection. If Pee Pees are destroyed, Pissists will often be provoked and place them again.
Pissists will often say "May the Pee Pee be with you!" or the less popular "May the Ball God have his eyes on you!" instead of common sayings like "Good luck", keep this in mind while being a Pissist.
Pissists have a sacred rule where because they need as many pee pee structures active as possible, they cannot eat any foods that resemble pee pees, such as Carrots and Beetroot. Although it is okay to sell to non-Pissists. Anything dyed in white or yellow is sacred, because they come out of pee pees. Although it is okay to sell them, many buildings are encouraged to be made out of white/yellow concrete, end stone, or quartz.
When a fellow Pissist dies in battle, other Pissists will commemorate his service by pissing on his/her dead body and building a pee pee-shaped gravestone for him/her, with a sign marked with his username.
Pissism is a cascading religion, meaning that even if someone if not aware of it and joins a pissist town or nation and does not renounce the religion, it carries with them to whatever town or nation they may join or found.
Pee Pees aren't griefing, and aren't to be treated as griefing either. Pee Pees are supposed to be intrigued at not mildly annoyed. As so, you can't overdo Pee Pee Placement nor make or destroy a Pee Pee as a non-Pissist.
Predominantly Pissist towns and nations.
- All towns within the nation of Avalon
- All towns within the nation of Slave
- Most towns within the nation of Quebec & Greater Quebec
- All towns within the nation of Kush (Holyland of Pissism)
- All towns within the nation of South_Canada
- All towns within the nation of Greater_Armenia
- All towns within the nation of Kaska
- All towns within the nation of Canada (won religious war against Canada)
- All towns within the nation of Michigan (president used to be part of Avalon)
- All towns within the nation of Minnesota (president used to be part of Michigan)
- All towns within the nation of USA (nation leader used to be part of Avalon)
- HentaiHaven (Imperial Japan, settled by Avalon settlers)
- Ketapang (Demak, settled by Avalon settlers)
- Puerto_Rico (Puerto_Rico, adopted religion)
- Zinder (Niger, settled by Avalon settlers)
- Obamapolis (Poland, adopted religion)
- Ostrava (Czechoslovakia, settled by Avalon settlers)
- Pee_Pee_Byen (Svalbard)
- Ryelsk (West Russia)
- All towns
Pissist Subgroups
As with many large organizations, Pissism has its set of subgroups and communities that identify themselves as Pissist, but also consider themselves to be part of that said group. Many groups overlap with eachother and vary from simple Pissism-themed societies to outright sects of Pissism with differing cultures and traditions.
Logo | Name | Description |
---|---|---|
The Church of Haybird
(Haybirdi Pissism) |
The Church of Haybird, also known as Haybirdi Pissism is a denomination of Pissism that split from the main Pissists on December 22nd, 2021. The religion attempts to modernize Pissism with new traditions and to integrate the elusive figure of the Hallowed Haybird. | |
The Northern Orthocox Church
(Orthocoxy Pissism) |
The Northern Orthocoxy Church, or just The Orthocox Church is a denomination of Pissism that split from the main Pissists on December 23rd, 2021 in order to combat the Church of Haybird. It was formed by SaltedSuris with Labrador as its first member nation. The religion rejects the P̶r̶o̶p̶h̶e̶t̶ Haybird, and is the utmost polar opposite of the Haybirdite's objectives. The Northern Orthocox Church attempts to retain Pissism's traditional values, and has a fierce rivalry with the Haybirdites. | |
The Sex Army
(The Sexual Sons of the First Army) |
The Sexual Sons of the First Army, more commonly known as The Sex Army; is a religious group in EarthMC comprised of Pissist Extremists, who will fight if prompted to keep their religion the top dog in the server. While not universally liked by Pissists due to their aggressive demeanor, they are often a valuable resource and stockpile during crusades, as they are called on from time-to-time to intervene in important crusades, such as The Inuvik Crusades or The Pissist Restoration of France. | |
The Penis Inspectors | The Penis Inspectors are a group that sells inspections on the male genitalia. The Penis Inspectors are most known for participating in the Poop Dealers vs Penis Inspectors Gang War (PDvsPIGW). The gang's main rival on the drug business are the Poop Dealers, the opposing side on PDvsPIGW. | |
The Tsu Clan | The Tsu Clan (ツ) is a clan identified by the discovered alternate accounts of No_Jewtsu. It is a clan in which only very good friends of No_Jewtsu can join or one of his alternate accounts. The clan was founded on March 7th, 2019, and includes a handful of Pissists. | |
The Wai Tee clan (Japanese: その ワイティー 一族) (Avalonese: Le Clanou dei Wai Tee) Is a new clan identified by the mark "YT" in the nickname. Unlike most clans the clan name is in the back of user's names instead of the front. It was influenced by Youtuber tags people would often place into their usernames to self-promote their videos. | ||
Cumminism | The idea of Cumminism was founded by GPM_Marcus, a resident of New Moncton, Acadia. First drafted up on the 20th of June 2021 in The Cumminist Manifesto, the ideology was soon developed to be a working political party within the Acadian Political Party System. Despite multiple limitations such as a slow computer, GPM_Marcus managed to create a fully functional party. In GPM_Marcus's own words, "It is democratic socialism, with a mix of cum." This ideology heavily surrounds Pissism. It demands the liberation of Pissists across the server, calling to the Pissists to overthrow any anti-pissist governing body. | |
The Cumminist Party/Pissists of Acadia (CPA) | The Cumminist Party of Acadia is an Acadian political party founded by GPM_Marcus. in an effort to push Acadia to greatness with the power of Cummunism, the party ran for Chancellorship of Acadia to begin its forward-thinking ideals and plans for a greater Acadia. But, he was defeated by the joint effort of the Acadian Prosperity Party and the National Cockservative Party of Acadia. Soon later, GPM_Marcus realized that he must appeal to the wider public if he was to win an election. He officially announced his renaming of his party from the Cumminist Party of Acadia to The Cumminist Pissists of Acadia. He was a pure pissist and venerated the religion, enough to wish for it to become more than a religion: an entire political party based on Pissist ideals. | |
The Maritime Prosperity Party
(MPP) |
The Maritime Prosperity Party is an Acadian political party that was formed on August 22, 2021 as The National Prosperity Party when The National Cockservative Party of Acadia and The Acadian Prosperity Party merged to form The Maritime Prosperity Party. Motto: "Glory to Acadia, and sorry for the ping" | |
Pisadou Preseirvaceu Alianciau
(Pissist Preservation Alliance) (PPA) |
The Pissist Preservation Alliance, officially named in its Avalonese translation, Pisadou Preseirvaceu Alianciau, is a religiously-based political party formed by Santacruiser in Rexburg. A vocal proponent of Pissist expansion, the PPA is a far right wing political party within the GMF, its goals are to unify all Pissists under a single, unified theocratic Pissist ethnostate. Some of their other goals include the barring of Non-Pissists from holding office, and the creation of a central bank used as a monetary incentive to convert to Pissism. Their motto is "A vote for the PPA is a vote for a strong Federation, a one freed by its faith and protected from the evils of heresy." | |
The National Cockservative Party of Acadia
(NCPA) |
The National Cockservative Party of Acadia was a former Acadian political party formed by 5StarGeneral on June 20th, 2021. The party adopted both conservative and nationalistic ideals, with the end goal of bringing prosperity to Acadia. | |
The Acadian Prosperity Party
(APP) |
The Acadian Prosperity Party was a former Acadian political party formed by FroyourFilms on June 22nd, 2021, with the release of the video "EarthMC: The Acadian Prosperity Party" on the same day to FroyourFilms's Youtube channel. The goal of the party was to "make Acadians rich" [sic], with one of the main goals to make the Acadian /n spawn more popular than Brazil, Britain, and Madagascar. The party strives to increase the wealth of the average Acadian resident by turning the /n spawn into a massively popular shop. Their motto is "Glory to Acadia!" | |
The Lemon Party
(Ytrap Nomel) |
The Lemon Party, an palindrome for Ytrap Nomel, which spelt backwards reads "Lemon Party", Which in itself is also an acronym for "Le Epic Memist Optional Nominee of the People Against toRonto, Thank You", (L.E.M.O.N.P.A.R.T.Y. for short), referred by members of the group as "A Fu*king Biohazard" (the highly inappropriate F word is censored for your own GOOD!) is a political party in Canada centered around Montréal, Québec, and currently organized by Dabs_All_OvarYT. It is not often often seen, but when often seen itis seen as a joke party. | |
The Pissist Party of Svalbard (PPS) | The Pissist Party of Svalbard is a major democratic political party in Svalbard, operating under the goals of making Pissism the national religion of Svalbard, and eliminating the middle class. | |
Pissist Weekly | Pissist Weekly is a weekly newsletter & corresponding company operated by GPM_Marcus, originally called Acadia Weekly, it was renamed as it become more read abroad. The newsletter acts as a spiritual successor to The News Channel hosted by 5StarGeneral. The newsletter proclaims a policy of unbiased and informational news stories. | |
Faux News | Faux News is a Avalonian-run News Source with headquarters in Arzvondayle, Avalon. It was founded on November 13th, 2019 by Dabs_All_OvarYT. Faux News owns its own Discord server. Faux News is a parody news source that tends to focus on funny exaggerated or false versions of recent events rather than providing sufficient data. Faux News also has a subsidiary by the name of 20th Century Faux, which focuses on making short films about the happenings of the server. | |
20th Century Faux | 20th Century Faux is a Film Company that strides to make high-quality short films about the happenings of the server. These can range in genre usually dependent on the director involved. 20th Century Faux currently has 2 films released, including their debut film 'Pissism, our Joke Minecraft Server Religion', a Documentary on the religion Pissism in the server, which has garnered positive response from the community. And their second film 'How our Minecraft Server's Gang War started a World War', a film documenting and explaining the conundrum that the Poop Dealers vs Penis Inspectors Gang War, so far it has gained a positive response from the community. | |
The Census Unit Maritime Bureau (Le Censou Uounhou Marotimei Bouriau)
(CUMB) |
The Census Unit Maritime Bureau, often abbreviated to C.U.M.B. is a department of The Grand Maritime Federation in charge of producing, distributing, and unveiling a monthly Census with the intent to keep track of activity, income, religion, and other factors within the GMF. Their emblem is partially adorned with miniature recreations of the Dildo's Dildo. |
How can I convert to Pissism?
It comes in multiple steps, some easier than others. We've made it simple to remember to convert, just remember this acronym!
- Denounce your current (in-game lol) religion publicly so all know. You can skip this step if you are irreligious or didn't know religion can be a thing in a block game.
- Ingrain your new belief by building a Pee Pee anywhere in the world. Can be next to your home or in the other side of the world. Do it tomorrow or even spice it up a bit by building another added PP every day that goes by. Take screenshots of them too, Make it a habit!
- Convince someone high in Pissism that by doing placing Pee Pees, you should join the religion. Ask a Shite, Poop or even the Ball God himself. Although he may be busy with Butholba's Witnesses. Show them the screenshots of the PPs you have built.
- Know your responsibilities, As a newly reformed Pissist. You have a alot of responsibilities to deal with. Check by PPs youve placed to make sure they are still there. If you want, participate in crusades against the unholy. Have fun!
So if you ever find somebody that wants to convert, just remember you have your D.I.C.K. to help you!
How do I leave Pissism for another religion?
you can't.
Pissism Ranks
Here ye lies a tier list of important roles and titles in the Pissist Faith, we shall start at the bottom.
- Regular Pissist: Commonfolk. Cool because they worship Ball God but have little religious power
- Shite (St.): Shites are the equivalent of Saints in the real world. They are Pissist individuals who have committed an array of good deeds to their faith that they have been accepted by the Ballgod himself as a religious leader. Examples of Shites include St. Dabs_All_OvarYT of Pee_Pee_Island, who had constructed the first PP ever after seeing the Ball God in a dream. And St. Riley_McDonut of Dildo who constructed the largest PP ever, named the Dildo's Dildo in his same town named Dildo after having a similiar event to Dabs.
- Patron Shite (Pt. St.): Patron Shites are still a rank in development. They would work like real life Patron saints, being advocates for activities, crafts, places, nations, group, person, etc.
- Holy Scribe: Holy Scribes are people who have the permission of altering the Pissism Bible.
- Poop (Pp.) The Poop is the equivalent of the Pope in the real world. There can only be one at a time in the same server and, before one departs, he must appoint an heir. The Poop has the most religious power of any one player individual and stands second only to the Ball God himself. They are often very obsessed with Pissism to the point where it as consumed their life. The current Poop in the sever is Poop MattyG2012.
List of Poops through time
Poop | Duration | Notes |
---|---|---|
Megablocklyng (Ihrs) | September-October 2019 - April 30th 2020 (around 200 days) | Megablocklyng was the first Poop, after he built several churches. He would go on to become the Ball God himself and create Kush. |
Dabs_All_OvarYT | April 30th 2020 - April 31th 2020 (1 day) | Dabs All Ovar was the shortest lived Poop in history, lasting only one day. He seemed to be the most fitting person to be the Poop, as he was one of the two people to see the Ball God in a vision. |
MattyG2012 | April 31st 2020 - Present day | MattyG2012 is the current Poop and leader of Dildo. He hasn't done much during his time as Poop. |
List of Shites through time
All Poops are Shites.
Shite | Notes |
---|---|
Riley_McDonut of Dildo | Shite Riley_McDonut was the second and last only individual to glance upon the ball god. He originally did not like Dabs's town encroaching upon his borders and if not persuaded by the ball god might have spelt the end of Pissism. His contruction of the Dildo's Dildo along with making Pissism the national religion of the nation of Avalon earned him the right to enter as a Shite of Pissism. |
SaltedSuris of Labrador | SaltedSuris is the only Shite in Labrador. Shited by MattyG2012, SaltedSuris tried to convert the nation of Croatia but failed, yet proved to be devout. SaltedSuris made the lands of Labrador legitimate Pissist land by converting residents in Labrador to Pissism. After garfield_mc left Domino, Salted repurposed garfield_mc's church to the church of St. Nethermite13.
|
Scorpionzzx of Rennes | Similiar to Riley, Scorpionzzx did not at first like this one nation doing well south of his, and schemed to create a rival religion to take out Pissism. He adopted Bruhism and this kicks off many crusades against Quebec (Now Canada). After alot of crusadering he proposed a deal to the Pissism Council. He would convert himself and the rest of Quebec to Pissism if all Pissists were to vote for him in an upcoming election. Since politics are pointless the Pissists accepted the deal and Scorpion converted. He even built the largest standing Pissism church by chunks in the server. This along with his eagerness to spread Pissism after the crusades earned him the right to enter as a Shite of Pissism. |
ToboCoolMan2000 of Pee Pee Island | Similiar to matt, Shite ToboCoolMan2000 is MattyG2012's brother, and also helped with infrastructure and stuff. Also assisted with the first recorded crusade as he attended much of the crusade. |
Remcoms of Kaska | Shite Remcoms had lived in Avalon and Slave in his past-time. He encouraged people to convert to pissism and has been on a few pee pee crusades like the one near Gasepeise where he placed some pee pees outside of its capital, and on the highly notable Kushite Birthday Crusade. He currently owns Kaska, a former Beeist stronghold, and he also has a church in Maluku which coincidentally the king of Maluku is Remcodd. |
Afaukiz of Svalbard | He founded the Svalbardic Pissist church, and after approval from the Ballgod, became a Shite. He is a devoted Pissist, having been one since he joined the server. |
NetherMite13 of Acadia | |
Colt_44_Magnum of Belgium | |
Matthi3000_ of Avalon | Matthi3000_ is the newest Shite to be added. He wrote the Pissism Bible and is highly active on Discord. |
How to become a Shite or Poop
To become a Shite, someone must have done some important array of tasks and have been approved by the Current Poop. If a Shite does anything out of line with Pissism however, the Poop can redact him from whatever Shitery.
To get ordained as a Poop is mostly impossible. As there can only be one per server, only a few select individuals will ever be a Poop in the server's lifespan. So pucker up to the current Poop and May the Pee Pee be with you!
Ancient Avalonese in Pissism
Ancient Avalonese, informally known as Pissism Runes, is the language used in Old Testament-age Pissism relics and for quotes in Pissism Churches. The language is a precursor for the modern day Avalonese and Anglicized Avalonese. The runes are not from the roman alphabet and show the possible birthplace of Pissism, which may have been from east Africa. They are often called Pissism Runes by those who are not familiar with Pissism. Many high-ranking officials such as Shites or the Poop can read Ancient Avalonese, and it is a requirement for a Poop to both read and speak it fluently. Think of it as the Latin of Pissism; pointless unless you are religious.
For some strange reason, Google Translate places Ancient Avalonese as "Amharic", truly bizarre.
Butholba's Witnesses
Butholba's Witnesses are individuals that have falsely or ongoingly claim to have seen the Ball God or have had visions of seeing the Ball God. These accusations are often done for clout or by those who failed the entry test for Shites and still want to get in. Luckily, these claims are often debunked by asking the Ball God himself over Discord. They are called Butholba's Witnesses because a Buthol is an Ancient Avalonese term for a false prophet. And the -ba suffix implies that it is a person's name or identity. Therefore identifying the person who made these wacky claims makes the individual a liar of great magnitudes.
Lists of Pissism Churches
Main page: List of Pissist churches
Image | Name | Date of creation
(yyyy/mm/dd) |
Creator | Height | Location & Coordinates | Notes |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Balls Cathedral | 2021/8/18 | Remis | 31 | Vietnam, Indochina | ||
St. Dabs_All_Ovar of Pee Pee Island Pissism Church | 2020/1/16 | Fortuyn | 65 | Pee Pee Island, Avalon | ||
St. MattyG2012 Pissism Church | 2020/3/26 | ? | 20 | Saint John, Acadia | The church underwent major remodelation on April 29th, 2020. |
Screenshots of Pee Pees around the world
To anyone who may find themselves upon a terribly wonderful or masterfully legendary Pee Pee, please post the image in this section with the caption of the location, date, or any other info.